Tulum

​Our new best pals Federico and Macarena drive us the 4 hours to Tulum. Saves us money and a shit trip on the bus, and means we get to spend more time with them.

Our two floor penthouse apartment is epic, and ridiculously cheap. There’s 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms as well as a private plunge pool on the terrace. Fucking nuts. There’s also a rooftop terrace and pool, two jacuzzis, plus a steam room and sauna. Although I’m not sure what mad fucker is using either of those in Mexico. The country is one big fucking sauna. 

After a couple of beers on the terrace we head out to dinner to a bar called Batey where we eat burritos and watch some live music. We then check out some of the local bars. It’s low season, so it’s not particularly busy. 

Tulum has a completely different feel to anywhere else we’ve been in Mexico so far. Definitely more catered towards tourists with new condo constructions left right and centre. I guess people come here for the beaches, not for the culture. That’s fine with us though, as we’ve had enough of all that and just want to sit on our increasingly fatter asses for the remainder of the trip. The only thing we don’t particularly enjoy are the prices, which are far higher than anywhere else we’ve been.

The next day we walk to Playa Paraíso beach where we spend most of the day. It’s the Caribbean coast so it’s a typical picturesque beach of pure white sand and crystal clear waters.

I love the idea of the beach, but actually hate the reality of it. Fucking sand. As soon as you set foot in it, every reapplication of suncream feels like a body scrub. I spend most of the afternoon checking out the glamorous women wondering how they manage to look fabulous all day long. Then there’s me with my sunburnt taco belly, sea twigs in my hair from the waves that kept slapping me in the puss, and sand stuck down one side of my face. Sexy as fuck. Raquel, my travel partner, isn’t helping matters as she looks fantastic 24/7. Not sure why I invited her. 

The following day we hire a couple of bikes and cycle 4.5 miles to Tulum beach. See above paragraph for a summary of the afternoon! We then swing by the famous statue Ven a La Luz for some photos before hopping on our bikes back to our apartment. That night, we head to Palma Central, an open area site with food trucks and live music. We share a burrito and some empanadas and then cycle home.

For our final day in Tulum, we take the minibus to Akumal, a beach around 20 minutes away which is known for its population of sea turtles. If you want to get anywhere close to them, you have to pay a guide to swim you out. But it’s worth it as the seabed is full of them, and they come up for air right beside you which is cool. 

Then it’s home to pack up our shit for the penultimate time. The next time will be when we’re going home 😭