Swapping the city for the desert, I arrived in San Pedro de Atacama. The town itself is tiny, but I instantly took a liking to it, because there’s literally dogs everywhere. What I like about Chile is that, although they’re all strays, they’re all very well looked after. Often you will see stray dogs with red neckerchiefs. There was a dog that used to take part in the street protests in Chile back in 2010 and would constantly bark at the police. He was given the name Matapacos (mata meaning kill and paco being the derogatory term for police here, like pigs). This dog wore a red neckerchief, and although he’s now dead, this has become a symbol of protest. Another little cultural snippet for you. See, I don’t just spend my time eating and drinking!
When I arrived I set about getting all my tours booked and organised for the next few days. The streets are literally lined with different tour companies, hundreds of them. For someone who is incapable of making decisions, this created quite a dilemma for me. Remarkably, all 4 of the tour operators I spoke to did not speak english, which made me wonder how most people managed here. They probably don’t know where they hell they are most of the time. Eventually I found a guy that i liked and decided that his company, Eco Aventura, was worthy of my business. He said he’s been living here all his life and I was the first Scottish person he’d ever encountered. I told him that’s because most Scottish people prefer to get off their tits on cheap local alcohol in all inclusive resorts in the Costa del Sol. The majority of European tourists in Chile are actually German and French (I cant seem to get away from them).
For dinner I went to a restaurant called Adobe and ordered camarones al pil pil (chilli garlic prawns with roast potato wedges) washed down with, you guessed it, a Pisco Sour. It was pretty damn delicious. For dessert I popped next door to Babalu for ice cream choosing hoja de coca (coca leaf) and chanar. Don’t worry mum, it has none of the potency.
Then I went across the road to the only real “pub” in the village called Chela Cabur and had a beer, because that’s all they serve.
I then ended up in a karaoke bar called Lola. Chilenos should really stick to making wine, because it sounded like one of the stray cats was being strangled. Anyway, a semi attractive guy walks in and sits next to me at the bar. Well, did I not make the mistake of asking him what he was drinking! 🤦🏼♀️ I couldn’t get rid of him. And the more he drank the creepier he became. Seriously I’m like a beacon for creepy bastards. If I got this much attention in Scotland I’d be married 5 times over and my mum would be off my case!
His name was Branco and worked in the mines close to Atacama (and no he wasn’t one of the ones stuck in there)! He was in town for a few days holiday. He got up to sing, but asked me to video him and send him it later given his camera was “broken”. I’m guessing this was a ploy to get my number. He insisted on buying me a tequila (you’d think I’d have learnt my lesson by now) and offered to take me out for a “romantic candlelit meal” the night after. He was supposed to leave for home the next day but said he’d stay if I asked him to. I did not ask him to! I don’t know how I get myself into these situations!
Day 2 started with breakfast at a bakery called La Franchuteria. You’re instantly hit with the smell of freshly baked croissants, is there any better smell on this earth? This set me up nicely for my next activity where I rented a bike and did a 4 hour round trip to el quebrada del Diablo (devils canyon ) which is a gorge a few miles outside of the town. My ass was crying out about two miles in, as it made for a bumpy ride, but it was worth it for the views. I returned to town for a well deserved pizza at El Churrua, which I’d heard good things about. It was fine, but not a patch on my dad’s homemade creations!
That afternoon I did The Valley of the Moon tour which involved hiking up some sand dunes. I’m regretting my 4 hour bike ride at this point. But again, the views at the top are incredible. I’d tell you why it was given it’s name, but I don’t want to insult your intelligence.
From here we visited las tres (three) marias, which is basically a rock formation that looks like some women, and another one that is argued to look like either Pac-Man or a dinosaur. You can make up your own mind. As you can see in the photo, there are now only 2.5 marias because some arrogant tourist leaned on one of the rocks years ago and it fell over. I’ll give you one guess what nationality they were...🇫🇷🤣. This is where I hate organised group tours as we were given 15 minutes to admire the formations. I don’t need 15 minutes to take a photo of a bloody rock pal!
We finished the tour watching the sunset over Valley of Death. When we arrived back in town I had a quick dinner at La Casona (shit service and mediocre food) before heading back to my hotel. I know that many of you have expressed concern at the state of my liver. I can assure you that today I only had ONE pisco sour, due to a 5am start tomorrow!
Tune in on Saturday for the next posting!
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