With the weather in Madrid being so crap, I decided to book a weekend in Toulouse. “But wait a minute, I thought you hate French people” I hear you say. Well yes I do, but the forecast was 20 degrees and the flights were 50 euros.
So the question is, has Toulouse changed my view of the French? Yes and no. To be fair, everyone I met was very friendly, and there’s no snobby hoity toity attitude like in Paris. But for me, I feel the same way about the French as I do about mushrooms. There are lots of different varieties of mushrooms, some are easier to stomach than others, but at the end of the day they’re still mushrooms, and I friggin hate mushrooms.
I arrived to my Airbnb around 2100. It was a tiny studio not big enough to swing a string of onions, but it was perfectly located by the river and Pont Neuf bridge. For dinner I went to a tapas place I had read about online called Chez Vicente. It’s a tiny place with no more than 5 or 6 tables, which you have to fight your way through the smoke from the grills to find. My A in advanced higher French did bugger all to help me, and I realised the only thing I remembered how to say was ‘vin rouge’. Go figure. I chose a dish of pork with melted cheese and garlic which was actually pretty delicious. It’s not cheap at €9 a dish, with a glass of wine costing €4, but after living in Madrid everywhere seems expensive to me.
Saturday: Toulouse
Saturday was spent exploring the city on foot. It’s not particularly large so everywhere is walkable. I started the day with a coffee, croissant and a pain au chocolate. Are you really in France if you don’t?? From there I headed to the Japanese Gardens, which is pretty unremarkable if you saw the real thing in Japan one year prior (yes I know, you all hate me).
After passing through the main square I popped into the famous cheese shop Fromager Xavier. I was able to hold my breath long enough to take a couple of photos and shove some free samples in my gob before I almost gagged. Across the street from the cheese shop is the Victor Hugo market which is filled with butchers, cheesemongers and little bars. At a respectable 11:55 I had my first wine of the day, accompanied by a mini charcuterie board.
By 1400 I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I have a special gift for eating regardless, and so lunch was steak and frites at Meet the Meat Kanteen. €22 for a starter and main isn’t extortionate, but the steak for me was pretty disappointing.
By this point I’ve seen most of what the town has to offer, so I’m glad that Ireland v Scotland is on in the afternoon. I head to Da Nu, an Irish pub owned by an ex France rugby player, to watch the game. Not the most exciting of atmospheres, or matches, although the place did start to fill up for the France v England game. Not that I stayed for it, given the prior result.
Normally this is the point where I’d try and line up a handsome local on Tinder for a date. However after matching with two complete dickheads online, I decided to soldier on solo. First was Julien, a handsome aircraft engineer who, in exchange for advice on where to eat and drink asked for “a good, hot time”. Then there was Maxime, also an engineer, who when I asked for advice responded “sex with me” followed by “you look like you have nice boobies”. Va te faire enculer! (loose Scottish translation = get tae fuck ya bawbag).
After a quick rest I headed to No.5 wine bar. It’s a very popular, tiny bar with wine dispensers. In other words, heaven. The concept is a bit different; you’re given cards which you need to top up in order to select wines. Some of the tasters alone are €5 (literally a drop). Being a tight-ass Scot I topped up €10 and tried a few.I have to say, I’ve sampled quite many wines over this weekend and they’re not a patch on Spanish.
Dinner was at Boli cafe, a Korean restaurant, and it was delicious. A big bowl of beef, rice and vegetables and a glass of wine for €12. Not bad. On the way home I stopped by Chez Authie, a typical French bar, where I paid €5 for a shit glass of wine #takemebacktomadrid
Sunday: Carcassonne
Thank god I realised Carcassonne was only a 45 minute train ride from Toulouse as I would have struggled to fill another day in the city. Carcassonne is like something out of a fairytale. A medieval town situated on a hilltop complete with a Disney style castle. I paid €9 to visit the Castle itself, which was worth it for the views alone.
The Citadel itself is very small, with intertwining cobbled streets and squares lined with your typical average, overpriced restaurants all claiming to sell the best ‘cassoulet’ (typical French dish of haricot beans, sausage and froie grois). I’d recommend Bar au Vin for wine as it has a nice little suntrap terrace beside the castle wall and decent, albeit French, wine for €3 a glass.
Overall,
would I recommend Toulouse as a weekend destination? For me it’s a bit
‘meh’. It’s fairly unremarkable. However, it’s worth a day trip as part
of a longer Southern France trip. Carcassonne on the other hand is not
to be missed! Now, get me the hell back to Madrid and pass me a Rioja!
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