Pushkar

I head to the station for my train to Pushkar. I get chatting to the only other white person on the platform, Mario from Spain, who’s also travelling alone. He works for the police in the Spanish embassy in Bilbao, so I figured he’d be a good person to spend the day with the exploring the town and hopefully stop me being hassled so much (I later discover this makes not one jot of a difference). 

We meet up after checking into our hotels and wander around the town, which is tiny compared to everywhere else I’ve been so far. However, its no less busy as the streets are jam packed full of people. This is largely due to it being the annual Camel Fair (the worlds largest camel fair in fact). Normally the town’s population is around 30,000, but during the Camel Fair over 500,000 people descend on the city to buy/sell camels and join in the festivities. When I was on the tour with the two girls in Jaipur we used an app to figure out how many camels we were worth. I’m apparently worth 55 camels, so I’d say the odds of me being abducted and sold are quite high over the next two days.

Next we jump on the cable car to Savitri Mata, a temple on the hill on the outskirts of town. The top is riddled with monkeys, who scout the tourists looking for food. They also wade through the rubbish looking for scraps. The waste problem here in India is terrible, it’s literally everywhere. Recycling does not exist, so it’s pretty sad to see such a beautiful location and the cute little monkeys sitting atop mountains of plastic bottles.

Once the sun sets, we make our way back to our respective hotels and agree to meet up again when we coincide in Jodphur. That evening I have a thali dinner in my hotel. It comes with a lentil curry, a butter paneer curry (which is delicious), rice and two types of breads. All for £2.50! What it doesn’t come with, however, is beer. Pushkar is a dry town, as well as being completely vegetarian. How will I cope?!

The next morning I have breakfast at Honey Dew cafe, run by a lovely Indian family. I order the banana and honey pancake, which is delicious, as well as my first proper coffee which excites me greatly. Good coffee has been hard to find. I get chatting to a woman from England and a guy from Denmark (who spends 6 months of the year living in Rajasthan). They meet in this cafe every morning for the good coffee, food, and the people watching. They’re both total hippies, as are the majority of tourists here, given the town is one of the most spiritual places in India. 

That morning I do a walking tour with guide, Manesh. I’m joined by an older couple from Switzerland and an American guy from Atlanta, Georgia. Over the next 4 hours we’re taken on a spiritual tour of Pushkar. I have to admit, I often find learning about these things boring after a while, but he was such a good guide, and the culture here is so fascinating, I listened to every word. 

Feel free to skip this next section if you’re not interested in the history of Pushkar! But I’m writing it down so I don’t forget! Basically there are three main gods in Hinduism - Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma. Brahma is known as the god of creation, and Pushkar is said to be the beginning of the universe. The story goes that Brahma dropped a lotus flower, which landed in Pushkar. Water then sprang from the ground, forming the sacred lake. Locals believe bathing in the lake is purifying, hence why there’s so many half naked people washing their dirty pits in there.

The lake is also where they perform many rituals for prosperity, health and happiness. And, of course, there is a very famous scam surrounding this in Pushkar, which luckily I’d read about prior to arriving! Tourists are offered flowers to throw in the lake. If you follow them down to perform the ritual, they then aggressively force you to give them $100. The American guy had already fallen for it earlier that day, go figure! We perform the proper ritual with our guide, who is a Brahma priest. At the end we’re given a bracelet, which is known as the “pushkar passport”. You show this to the scam artists at the lake and they leave you alone!

We visit Brahma temple, which is the only temple of worship in the whole of India for Brahma, which is unusual as the other gods have thousands. This is because his wife put a curse on him after he cheated on her and married his second wife, all because his first wife arrived late to a ritual. I totally get it. Nothing annoys me more than tardiness. 

Similar to other towns I’ve visited so far, there are cows and dogs everywhere here. Manesh tells us that each cow actually belongs to someone. They’re let out first thing in the morning and are free to roam around the town. They find their way back home in the evening. It’s customary for local people to feed both the cows and dogs chapatis. They will always leave two chapatis on the plate after eating, which are specifically for the animals. 

After the tour I head for an Ayurvedic massage. Basically a normal massage, but they also interpret messages from your body. I learn that I need to control my emotions more, to learn to say no, to slow down, to speak about my feelings more and to eat more dates (but only in the winter). Strange because the only message I’m getting from body is “bitch, why haven’t you given me beer in two days”.

That evening I head to the lake for sunset and watch the fire festival ritual they perform on the lake every night. I’m handed a flyer by a young guy who says there’s live music at a hostel in town later and to swing by. I promise him I will. 


I haven’t had lunch, so I’m starving at this point. On the recommendation of Manesh, I head to Sanjay rooftop restaurant and order malai kofta and garlic naan. It’s spicy and delicious.

As a woman of my word, I head to the hostel for some live music. The guy from earlier (who it turns out is a gypsy) is waiting outside and seems happy to see me. I follow him to the courtyard inside and there is neither music nor any other human soul. He assures me that more people are coming. I’m dying for the loo at this point after tanking a litre of water at dinner. I set one foot in the toilet and its rancid, so instead I sit cross-legged and uncomfortable for about 20 minutes will I’m taught how to play the bongos! As soon as I feel like it’s acceptable, I claim I have a 6am pick up and swiftly exit.

I have to say, Pushkar has been my favourite place so far in India. I’d go as far as to say it was actually quite peaceful! 

Jaipur: The Pink City

I’m picked up at 8am for a cultural city tour of the Pink city (which is actually terracotta, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue as well). There are two other girls on the tour which is good as it’s tiring being on tours alone and having to appear super engaged the whole time. Especially when they’re talking about boring shit like paintings and carpets. 

We tick off most of the hotspots today, starting with the vegetable and flower market, where I almost get trampled by a stray cow (they roam the streets like dogs here raking bins for food).

Next up is the Amber Fort. It’s set on a hill, and they have elephant rides to take tourists up the steep winding path. Each elephant will do at least 5 round trips between 8-11am. Who are these fuckwits that pay to facilitate this cruelty? Americans, probably.

We learn that the Amber Palace was occupied by Man Singh II. He had 12 wives, each one with a different sign of the zodiac to ensure good luck during his lifetime. He also had 21 mistresses, to ensure a constant stream of good times. That palace must’ve been riddled. He very graciously housed them all in private apartments though, so not a bad deal if you ask me.

We’re then taken to Jantar Mantar, a UNESCO world heritage site featuring a collection of astronomical instruments built in the 18th century. It houses the world’s largest sundial. The creator had originally built a smaller one, but it was only accurate to within 10 minutes, so he built another one twenty times bigger, accurate to 2. OCD much? We end with a tour of a textile factory where they showcase block printing and rug making and try to sell us shit we don’t want or need. 

 

The next day I’m tour free and excited to wander around the city at my own pace. I start with breakfast at Gulab ji chai, famous for its chai tea (which I’m obsessed with here) and bun maska, a soft bun slathered with a generous amount of butter. It’s a popular place as the street is rammed with locals.

I then begin my 30 minute climb to Nahargarh Fort. There’s motorbikes at the bottom charging £2 to take you up the 2km path, which is like 4 times the price of what it should cost. It’s still pocket change, but I’m eager for a little exercise now that I’m able to walk without fear of being mowed down. 

The fort is a popular sunset spot, which is understandable given the views from the top. Sadly the air pollution is still pretty bad, so visibility isn’t great. I’m actually starting to feel it in my lungs and missing the good old Scottish clean air! 

After enjoying a nice cold beer, I jump in a tuk tuk and head to the Monkey Temple, which requires another 2k uphill slog. It’s here that my celebrity status goes from B list to A list as I’m accosted by swarms of children, women, and families. One family want individual photos with me, which I agree to before realising just how big the family is! I should really start charging 100 rupees per photo, it’d pay for my whole trip.

The monkey temple is beautiful, but I’m a bit nervous around them after my experience in Bali (they’re vicious thieving little bastards there). Luckily the monkeys here are super chill and not in the least bit bothered by the people. 

That evening I have a food tour booked in the old city. I’m met by my guide, Rhea, who is super sweet and incredibly passionate. It’s nice to have a female guide for a change, as most are men.

Over the course of the next 3 hours i’m whisked around a ridiculous amount of street food stalls including samosas, kachoris (fried lentil patties), gulab jamun, Bombay mix, a massive bowl of chat and this incredibly delicious dish which is basically just a slab of butter with cardamom spices and honey. At this point my trousers are pretty tight and my heart is about to go into cardiac arrest from all the fried food and sugar. This is when Rhea declares, “right, and now we have dinner”. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She was not. We proceed to have a sit down meal in vegetarian restaurant, Ganesh, where we share a lentil dhal and a vegetarian curry with two types of bread. I’m about to throw up at this point, but I’m British and don’t want to be rude so I force as much of it down as I can. Finally, we finish with dessert which is ice cream with rose flavoured custard. This woman is trying to kill me. Taxi for Davies! 

Aggy in Agra

The next morning I head to Saravana Bhavan, a popular breakfast place with locals serving dosas (crispy pancakes) the size of your leg. I ordered the masala dosa, stuffed with potatoes, which comes with 3 chutneys.

Then it’s time to head to the station for my train to Agra. I have to say I was quite nervous about my first Indian train adventure. And it was every bit as crazy as I expected. It’s like something out of a film scene as hundreds of locals fight their way to board. The whistle is used just as liberally as the car horns. The windows on the train are holes with metal bars, and passengers are passing all sorts of stuff through to their families inside. Never again shall I complain about Scot Rail. Although at least this train arrived on time! I’d booked the second class carriage with AC, so perhaps not as an authentic experience as it could have been. I’m ok with that! 

I check into my homestay, which is beautiful (and luxury compared to my last digs). I jump in a tuk tuk and head to Mehtab Bagh, a popular spot to see the sunset with views of the Taj Mahal. The air quality isn’t great due to 4 straight days of fireworks for Diwali, so it’s pretty hazy and not quite as beautiful as I imagine it usually is. I pose for some photos with my loyal fans before heading back. 

That night I head to Sadar Market for a food tour. My guide, Imran, picks me up from my hotel. The traffic here is just as crazy as Delhi, although I’m told this is mainly because it’s still Diwali celebrations. Motorbikes are everywhere, with up to 4 people per bike (technically illegal here, if there’s such a thing). The women sit side saddle with babies on their laps, their toddlers sandwiched between them and their dad. Utter madness when there’s so much sharp breaking! 

Today I learnt there’s no such thing as driving lessons or driving tests here. When you’re 18, you can buy a car with no qualifications. It’s all starting to make sense now. Imran tells me to drive you only need 3 things. A good horn, good breaks, and good luck! There’s no driving regulations so it’s a free for all. Bizarrely, road rage isn’t a thing here. You’ll never see drivers getting angry and, astonishingly, there are few accidents. If you watch the drivers closely, you can see they’re all super aware and alert, watching their surroundings at all times and navigating around each other. I’ve never felt unsafe in a vehicle here yet. 

Over the next couple of hours I try lots of delicious food, starting with a bombay mix style street food tossed in tomato and chili oil. Imran is lovely, but every two steps he stops to tell me stuff or ask me questions. Which is all very fascinating, but less talky talky, more pani puri please as I haven’t eaten since breakfast! Next I try the pau baji (my favourite dish from Dishoom). Probably the tastiest thing I’ve tried on my trip so far, and I have to say the Dishoom one comes very close! We end with some pani puri. No sooner I have shoved one in my gob and the young owner is chucking another on my plate. I end up trying all the flavours. Incredibly I only paid £7 for the tour, which included transport and all food. Madness! 
I’m stuffed at this point so we call it a night and start to head home. The tuk tuk driver pulls over half way to let Imran out. At this point he asks me to write and post a review in front of him before he gets out. Erm, I don’t think so pal. Let’s not make this weird by turning it into a hostage situation. That’ll lose you a star at least! I get out of it by promising him to do it as soon as I get to my hotel. 

I’m up at 5am the next day for my sunrise Taj Mahal tour with my private guide, Riyaz. I say tour guide, but he was more like a videographer. He had me doing all sorts of cringeworthy stuff on camera, like walking away and then looking back and beckoning him. Looked like a right fanny I’m sure. But he did take some good photos bless him. I counted at the end that he’d taken over 300 photos and videos!
The Taj Mahal itself is impressive. The white marble doesn’t tarnish so it looks pristine and like it’s only just been built.  In the photos it looks cloudy, but actually the sky is clear and the haze is air pollution, so the building almost blends into the sky. I can’t help but feel a little bit cheated as the beauty of going at sunset is to watch how the sun changes the colour of the marble. 

I return to my hotel to wait for my 11am transfer to my next stop, Jaipur. My driver doesn’t show. In the end I wait 90 mins before asking the owner to arrange another. Very annoying as it then meant I missed my food tour that evening. It also means I get stuck in rush hour traffic, so the 4.5 hour journey takes me 6. 

I dump my stuff at the hotel and head straight for dinner as I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I order the mutton curry at Peacock Rooftop restaurant. The meat is served on the bone in a sweet and tangy sauce with roti. The waiter deterred me from a different dish which he claimed was very spicy. The one I chose was apparently medium. I think they must severely adapt their spice levels for westerners, because it was very mild. But it was nonetheless delicious, and the first time I’ve eaten meat so far this trip. If I get the shits tomorrow, it was totally worth it! 

New Delhi

The trip starts off with a minor catastrophe. I lost an AirPod to the inner mechanisms of my reclining business class chair. It’s a first world problem, sure. But annoying nonetheless. On the bright side, British Airways managed NOT to lose my suitcase OR send it to the wrong airport this time, so there’s no need for another Edinburgh News feature. Happy days!

Emerging from the airport doors, my first experience of New Delhi is almost stepping on a dead rat. Welcome to India! My hotel is basic (apparently stars mean fuck all here). Plus the manager takes great pleasure in telling me I’ve been complimentary upgraded to a deluxe suite, complete with a window. I dread to think what my original room was like. After checking in, I’m handed a welcome basket which includes a meagre tube of toilet roll with enough paper to wipe the arse of a small hamster. If there’s ever a country where you need an ample supply of loo roll, it’s this one! 

I step out into the mayhem that is New Delhi and am instantly overwhelmed. The heat, the people, the noise, the traffic. It’s impossible to walk two feet without being questioned, scammed, stared at, or asked for a photo. I’m also surprised by the lack of tourists. I assumed there would be lots of other foreigners and I could blend in, but I stick out like a sore thumb. 

I jump in a tuk tuk and head to the meet up point for my first food tour of the holiday. People warn you about the craziness that is Delhi traffic, but nothing prepares you for the sheer carnage and deafening noise! Crossing the street here is a game of chicken. You’re supposed to just put your hand out and walk, like Moses. Or wait until a local crosses and use them as a human shield. 

I’m joined on the food tour by a lovely Australian couple from Melbourne. Over the next 4 hours, our guide JD takes us on a street food journey through the manic streets of Old Delhi. We try samosas, parathas, jalebi and some delicious vegetarian curries. He also takes us into some temples, including one that has the largest community kitchen in Delhi which is open 24/7 365. We try our hand at rolling chapatis (which I’m sure don’t make it past quality control). 

JD recommends a piano bar in South Delhi with live music, so I head there later that evening with my new Aussie pals. We watch a couple of sets and have a few cocktails before calling it a night. At this point I haven’t slept in over 30 hours, so I’m asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. 

The next morning I check out some of the tourist attractions in the south of the city, including India Gate and one of the old step wells used to store water. Discovering tuk tuks could be ordered on Uber was the highlight of my day. Each ride costs about 70p and there’s no need to negotiate a fare and end up paying triple the price. New Delhi is not a pedestrian friendly city, so walking is pretty much out of the question here. 

I stop for lunch at a cafe in a crafts museum and order the Palak Patta Chaat (potatoes and chickpeas with spiced yoghurt and chutney) served with crispy spinach leaves for dipping. Absolutely delicious. 

After lunch, I visit Humayun’s Tumb followed by Safdarjung’s Tumb. I spend the afternoon being hounded by groups of adolescent boys either directly asking me for photos, or very indiscreetly getting their pals to take photos of them with me in the background. It’s like they’ve never seen a white girl before. I’m glad my Dundee Junior Showtime stage school years didn’t lead me to a life of stardom. Fame is not for me and I feel uncomfortable for most of the day. 

That evening I head to Indian Accent restaurant for a tasting menu. It’s £50 for 6 courses, which is an absolute steal by our standards. Plus the food is ridiculously good. It would’ve been even better with a glass of wine, but it’s crazy expensive here, and it’s not even good quality. So looks like I’ll be sticking to beer and cocktails and gin this holiday. Tough life. 

Isla Mujeres

​It’s all aboard the ferry for our last and final stop, Isla Mujeres - a small island off the coast of Cancún. We only had two days here and so had no plans other than plonking ourselves on the beach and enjoying the last of the sun! Which is super strong here. Far hotter and more humid than everywhere else we’ve been. 

The beach here is probably one of the nicest we’ve seen, and the water at the shore only goes up to your waist, so you can waddle out with a beer in each hand quite easily. Due to the heat, we spend 80% of our time in the water.

That evening we head out for some delicious fish tacos and then hit the local bars. It’s a small island, with most of the bars on one street so ideal for a pub crawl. We start in Stingray where there’s karaoke, although neither of us have the balls to sing anything. It’s fun to watch the drunk people try though. We then head to Kokonuts where we befriend a group of fellow travellers from Australia, France and Germany. We play drinking games before heading inside and dancing until the bar closes. 

The next day is more or less a repeat of the one before. We stay on the beach until the sun goes down, enjoying every last bit of heat before heading back to the cold as balls Scottish weather. That evening, we head out for our final taco meal (I’m going cold turkey from now until 2024). We meet up with our friends from last night for some farewell drinks. It’s here I meet the first, and last, Scottish person of the trip, Kirsty from Glasgow. She came to Isla Mujeres on holiday a year and a half ago and moved here permanently. I’ll never understand it, I’d be bored as fuck out here.

It’s then home to pack our shit for the final time and prepare for the long and depressing journey back to Edinburgh. It’s been an incredible trip, particularly Day of the Dead in Oaxaca which was an experience I’ll never forget. 

Until the next adventure…

Tulum

​Our new best pals Federico and Macarena drive us the 4 hours to Tulum. Saves us money and a shit trip on the bus, and means we get to spend more time with them.

Our two floor penthouse apartment is epic, and ridiculously cheap. There’s 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms as well as a private plunge pool on the terrace. Fucking nuts. There’s also a rooftop terrace and pool, two jacuzzis, plus a steam room and sauna. Although I’m not sure what mad fucker is using either of those in Mexico. The country is one big fucking sauna. 

After a couple of beers on the terrace we head out to dinner to a bar called Batey where we eat burritos and watch some live music. We then check out some of the local bars. It’s low season, so it’s not particularly busy. 

Tulum has a completely different feel to anywhere else we’ve been in Mexico so far. Definitely more catered towards tourists with new condo constructions left right and centre. I guess people come here for the beaches, not for the culture. That’s fine with us though, as we’ve had enough of all that and just want to sit on our increasingly fatter asses for the remainder of the trip. The only thing we don’t particularly enjoy are the prices, which are far higher than anywhere else we’ve been.

The next day we walk to Playa Paraíso beach where we spend most of the day. It’s the Caribbean coast so it’s a typical picturesque beach of pure white sand and crystal clear waters.

I love the idea of the beach, but actually hate the reality of it. Fucking sand. As soon as you set foot in it, every reapplication of suncream feels like a body scrub. I spend most of the afternoon checking out the glamorous women wondering how they manage to look fabulous all day long. Then there’s me with my sunburnt taco belly, sea twigs in my hair from the waves that kept slapping me in the puss, and sand stuck down one side of my face. Sexy as fuck. Raquel, my travel partner, isn’t helping matters as she looks fantastic 24/7. Not sure why I invited her. 

The following day we hire a couple of bikes and cycle 4.5 miles to Tulum beach. See above paragraph for a summary of the afternoon! We then swing by the famous statue Ven a La Luz for some photos before hopping on our bikes back to our apartment. That night, we head to Palma Central, an open area site with food trucks and live music. We share a burrito and some empanadas and then cycle home.

For our final day in Tulum, we take the minibus to Akumal, a beach around 20 minutes away which is known for its population of sea turtles. If you want to get anywhere close to them, you have to pay a guide to swim you out. But it’s worth it as the seabed is full of them, and they come up for air right beside you which is cool. 

Then it’s home to pack up our shit for the penultimate time. The next time will be when we’re going home 😭 

Merida

We arrive in Merida, where its hot and humid! We upgraded from a windowless tin shack in Oaxaca, to a newly refurbished house with a private pool. Not that we had much time to enjoy it unfortunately as we’re only here a couple of days. 

We arrive around 8pm, and it’s Saturday, so we head straight to a bar called La Negrita which is rammed with people. A group of Mexicans beckon us over and start forcing us to drink tequila shots (not that I needed much coaxing). We then befriend a lovely couple from Argentina, Macarena and Federico. The Mexicans take us all to a live music bar where they order a bottle of rum for the table and things start to get messy. It ended up being one of the best nights of the trip so far, and definitely the messiest. 

The next day is spent exploring Merida historic centre, another pretty colonial town. We stop for lunch to eat cochinita pibil tacos, which is the speciality here. I’m glad my appetite for tacos has finally returned!

That afternoon, we invited the Argentinian couple over to the house, which is when I realise I understood them a lot better when I was hammered! Their accents are super difficult, so I was knackered by then end of the evening from trying to keep up.  We had some beers by the pool and then rustled up a slap of meal of sausage, scrambled egg and chicken. It can’t have been that bad, cause they offered to drive us to Tulum, our next stop, in their hire car to thank us for our hospitality! 

The next day we’re up at 5am for our tour to Chichen Itzá, one of the 7 wonders of the world. There’s two other girls on the tour with us. We were literally the first people to enter the site, which meant we were able to get some awesome pictures against the backdrop of the temple without other tourists getting in the way. Our guide walked us around for a couple of hours and explained a bit of the history. He was a rather shit guide though, not at all engaging, and he talked a lot without actually really telling us anything.

Next, we’re driven to a private cenote which is literally in the middle of a Mexican family’s back garden. They discovered it 20 years ago while digging for a well, which more than quadrupled the value of their property overnight. Large corporations have been trying to buy it since to turn it into another tourist attraction, but the family refused to sell and so the cenote remains private and accessible only to locals in the village (and our tour guide and his tour groups). 

Pretty cool to have the place to ourselves as most of the other cenotes are public and crowded. When we arrived, the electricity was out, so the light to the cenote was being powered by a back up generator. Which meant we spent most of our time down there shitting ourselves the generator would fail, we’d be plunged into darkness and ravaged by cave monsters.