Isla Mujeres

​It’s all aboard the ferry for our last and final stop, Isla Mujeres - a small island off the coast of Cancún. We only had two days here and so had no plans other than plonking ourselves on the beach and enjoying the last of the sun! Which is super strong here. Far hotter and more humid than everywhere else we’ve been. 

The beach here is probably one of the nicest we’ve seen, and the water at the shore only goes up to your waist, so you can waddle out with a beer in each hand quite easily. Due to the heat, we spend 80% of our time in the water.

That evening we head out for some delicious fish tacos and then hit the local bars. It’s a small island, with most of the bars on one street so ideal for a pub crawl. We start in Stingray where there’s karaoke, although neither of us have the balls to sing anything. It’s fun to watch the drunk people try though. We then head to Kokonuts where we befriend a group of fellow travellers from Australia, France and Germany. We play drinking games before heading inside and dancing until the bar closes. 

The next day is more or less a repeat of the one before. We stay on the beach until the sun goes down, enjoying every last bit of heat before heading back to the cold as balls Scottish weather. That evening, we head out for our final taco meal (I’m going cold turkey from now until 2024). We meet up with our friends from last night for some farewell drinks. It’s here I meet the first, and last, Scottish person of the trip, Kirsty from Glasgow. She came to Isla Mujeres on holiday a year and a half ago and moved here permanently. I’ll never understand it, I’d be bored as fuck out here.

It’s then home to pack our shit for the final time and prepare for the long and depressing journey back to Edinburgh. It’s been an incredible trip, particularly Day of the Dead in Oaxaca which was an experience I’ll never forget. 

Until the next adventure…

Tulum

​Our new best pals Federico and Macarena drive us the 4 hours to Tulum. Saves us money and a shit trip on the bus, and means we get to spend more time with them.

Our two floor penthouse apartment is epic, and ridiculously cheap. There’s 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms as well as a private plunge pool on the terrace. Fucking nuts. There’s also a rooftop terrace and pool, two jacuzzis, plus a steam room and sauna. Although I’m not sure what mad fucker is using either of those in Mexico. The country is one big fucking sauna. 

After a couple of beers on the terrace we head out to dinner to a bar called Batey where we eat burritos and watch some live music. We then check out some of the local bars. It’s low season, so it’s not particularly busy. 

Tulum has a completely different feel to anywhere else we’ve been in Mexico so far. Definitely more catered towards tourists with new condo constructions left right and centre. I guess people come here for the beaches, not for the culture. That’s fine with us though, as we’ve had enough of all that and just want to sit on our increasingly fatter asses for the remainder of the trip. The only thing we don’t particularly enjoy are the prices, which are far higher than anywhere else we’ve been.

The next day we walk to Playa Paraíso beach where we spend most of the day. It’s the Caribbean coast so it’s a typical picturesque beach of pure white sand and crystal clear waters.

I love the idea of the beach, but actually hate the reality of it. Fucking sand. As soon as you set foot in it, every reapplication of suncream feels like a body scrub. I spend most of the afternoon checking out the glamorous women wondering how they manage to look fabulous all day long. Then there’s me with my sunburnt taco belly, sea twigs in my hair from the waves that kept slapping me in the puss, and sand stuck down one side of my face. Sexy as fuck. Raquel, my travel partner, isn’t helping matters as she looks fantastic 24/7. Not sure why I invited her. 

The following day we hire a couple of bikes and cycle 4.5 miles to Tulum beach. See above paragraph for a summary of the afternoon! We then swing by the famous statue Ven a La Luz for some photos before hopping on our bikes back to our apartment. That night, we head to Palma Central, an open area site with food trucks and live music. We share a burrito and some empanadas and then cycle home.

For our final day in Tulum, we take the minibus to Akumal, a beach around 20 minutes away which is known for its population of sea turtles. If you want to get anywhere close to them, you have to pay a guide to swim you out. But it’s worth it as the seabed is full of them, and they come up for air right beside you which is cool. 

Then it’s home to pack up our shit for the penultimate time. The next time will be when we’re going home 😭 

Merida

We arrive in Merida, where its hot and humid! We upgraded from a windowless tin shack in Oaxaca, to a newly refurbished house with a private pool. Not that we had much time to enjoy it unfortunately as we’re only here a couple of days. 

We arrive around 8pm, and it’s Saturday, so we head straight to a bar called La Negrita which is rammed with people. A group of Mexicans beckon us over and start forcing us to drink tequila shots (not that I needed much coaxing). We then befriend a lovely couple from Argentina, Macarena and Federico. The Mexicans take us all to a live music bar where they order a bottle of rum for the table and things start to get messy. It ended up being one of the best nights of the trip so far, and definitely the messiest. 

The next day is spent exploring Merida historic centre, another pretty colonial town. We stop for lunch to eat cochinita pibil tacos, which is the speciality here. I’m glad my appetite for tacos has finally returned!

That afternoon, we invited the Argentinian couple over to the house, which is when I realise I understood them a lot better when I was hammered! Their accents are super difficult, so I was knackered by then end of the evening from trying to keep up.  We had some beers by the pool and then rustled up a slap of meal of sausage, scrambled egg and chicken. It can’t have been that bad, cause they offered to drive us to Tulum, our next stop, in their hire car to thank us for our hospitality! 

The next day we’re up at 5am for our tour to Chichen Itzá, one of the 7 wonders of the world. There’s two other girls on the tour with us. We were literally the first people to enter the site, which meant we were able to get some awesome pictures against the backdrop of the temple without other tourists getting in the way. Our guide walked us around for a couple of hours and explained a bit of the history. He was a rather shit guide though, not at all engaging, and he talked a lot without actually really telling us anything.

Next, we’re driven to a private cenote which is literally in the middle of a Mexican family’s back garden. They discovered it 20 years ago while digging for a well, which more than quadrupled the value of their property overnight. Large corporations have been trying to buy it since to turn it into another tourist attraction, but the family refused to sell and so the cenote remains private and accessible only to locals in the village (and our tour guide and his tour groups). 

Pretty cool to have the place to ourselves as most of the other cenotes are public and crowded. When we arrived, the electricity was out, so the light to the cenote was being powered by a back up generator. Which meant we spent most of our time down there shitting ourselves the generator would fail, we’d be plunged into darkness and ravaged by cave monsters. 

Oaxaca: Day of the Dead

Day 1: 

After a 5 hour bus journey, we arrive in Oaxaca. We jump in a taxi to dump our stuff at our Airbnb, which is incredibly basic and annoyingly a bit of a trek from the centre. It’s impossible to find accommodation here during the festival and places inflate their prices to crazy amounts. Which is why we end up in a windowless tin shack 1.5 miles from the centre. Luckily we both enjoy walking, as we work out we’re walking 6 miles a day just going to and from our Airbnb to the centre twice a day. And that’s before all the walking we then do in between. 

This is the part of the trip I’ve been looking forward to most. For those who don’t know much about the tradition, it’s mainly a 3 day celebration. In the days leading up to the event, families prepare their altars with candles, flowers, photos of the deceased, and all their favourite foods and drinks. I think my altar would just be full of monster munch and wine. At midnight on 31st October, the door between the living and the dead opens. This is celebrated in cemeteries with music, drinking and dancing. The first to pass through the barrier are the lost souls (children) on November 1st, with the adults coming to party on November 2nd, when everyone congregates in the cemeteries once again. 

We both instantly fall in love with Oaxaca. It’s a really pretty town with lots of colourful streets and beautiful churches. And the people are so friendly! Not like in Edinburgh during the fringe when we all just want the tourists to fuck off. Here the locals embrace the people that come to visit and share in their traditions. In the town centre there’s parades left right and centre with brass bands and big crowds of people dressed up with the typical día de los muertos face paints and throwing sweets into the crowds. 

We head for dinner, although it’s now the third day of me having no appetite, so I only manage a couple of bites of a tamale. We walk around the town, which is even prettier in the evening with all the decorations and lighting. It’s one giant fiesta, with shows, music, and parades on every street. 

Day 2: 

I barely slept last night due to feeling really nauseous, but we’re up early the next day for a food tour of a local market. Kill me. The thought of food alone turns turns my stomach, but the smells take my nausea to another level! Especially the smell of the corn tortillas. I’m actually really concerned I’ll never be able to eat a taco again. Despite feeling like shit, I want to experience the market, even if I don’t actually get to eat any of the food! Luckily for Raquel that means double portions for her! 

The market is definitely a place that needs to be experienced with a local guide. Not least because it’s over 800 acres with 10,000 passages and over 200 entrances. Mind blowing. Our guide, Javier, luckily knows it like the back of his hand and navigates us around the alleys for the next 3 hours. We start with freshly squeezed fruit juice, which I’m able to stomach rather well. But then it’s empanadas, tacos and memelas and things start going south! Not literally, I hasten to add! I try to at least have one bite of everything, but the tacos and memelas I actually have to subtly spit out in a tissue after a couple of chews. I was especially gutted about not being able to enjoy Donna Vale’s memelas - she became a Netflix sensation after appearing on Somebody Feed Phil and her street food is apparently the best in the whole of Latin America. I’ll never know. 

That evening we head to the centre to get our faces painted in typical día de los muertos fashion before meeting up with a girl we befriended on the tour, Ashlin from Washington DC. We watch the procession of the main parade which ends up at the cathedral where there’s a big stage with live music. It’s all very jovial and civilised, there’s no drunk people throwing beer (or piss) into the crowds like there might be at home!

We share a taxi to the cemetery in Xoxocotlán, 20 mins from the centre. This is one of the more famous cemeteries for day of the dead celebrations. When we arrive, there’s candles and marigolds everywhere, but no families. We’re gutted to learn that the main fiesta was last night (which is when the gates opened for the dead to cross). But still, it’s a pretty incredible, yet sombre, sight with all the candles and marigolds. 

Day 3: 

I wake up the next day feeling hungry. Hallelujah, I think I’m finally over my sickness! I still don’t feel like eating Mexican food though and at this point I can’t even see a day when I’ll be ready to again! I must have overindulged in Mexico City. Craving normal lunch food, we head to a cafe and order burgers. Just what the doctor ordered! We then spend the afternoon wandering the markets.

That afternoon, while having our afternoon lie down, there’s a small earthquake. I didn’t realise what it was at first, as it was such a weird sensation. Luckily it was just a small one, 5.1 on the Richter scale. It did feel rather symbolic though with the barrier between the dead and the living closing at that time! 

That evening we head to a couple of cemeteries in the city centre where families are once again congregating to say goodbye to the dead for another year. There are groups of people everywhere singing and dancing, some have brought guitars or violins to play music which is really lovely to watch. 

Day 4:

With the day of the dead festival over, we decide to do a day trip to Hierve El Agua, which is basically a set of natural rock formations. There’s a walking route from which you can see the impressive rock faces that resemble cascades of water, and at the end when you’re hot and sweaty from all the walking you can have a dip in the mineral-rich pools. Hierve el agua literally means “the water boils” which is ironic as the water was cold as balls. The tour included a stop at a mezcal distillery where we learnt about how the drink is made, before trying a selection. 

At this point we’re both feeling ready to leave Oaxaca. It’s been amazing but pretty full on and we’re in need of a slower pace and a bit less walking! Next stop, Merida!

Puebla

It’s a 2 hour bus journey from Mexico City to Puebla, where we spend the next two days. It’s a really cute town full of colourful streets and beautiful colonial buildings. 

We spend the first day wandering around Puebla itself, checking out the local markets and the artisan shops. That afternoon I start to feel really ill. My whole body ached and I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. I also had no appetite, even though I hadn’t eaten all day. Even when Raquel bought Cheetos, I couldn’t stomach any. Those who know me well will understand just how ill I must have been to turn down crisps. 

But I don’t want to miss out on the festival, so I head back out regardless. I’ve no desire to eat dinner, but force down some sweetcorn soup. I’m annoyed that I’m in a town famous for its food and I can’t even try it!

We stop by the main square after dinner where there are lots of illuminated decorations. There’s also a really cool light show projected onto the town hall building which tells the story of the history of day of the dead. Kids (and adults) are out in force dressed up and walking the crowds asking for sweeties/money. The costumes here are next level and people go all out. There was a little girl, she couldn’t have been older than two, dressed really creepy rocking back and forth in a rocking chair. I thought it was a doll at first! It did cross my mind whether the whole thing bordered on child abuse!

The next day we hop in an Uber and drive 20 minutes to the town of Cholula which is famous for its beautiful church built on top of an ancient pyramid. We spend around 6 hours in the town, entering pretty much every shop and market there is, even though they all sell the exact same tat. We stop for lunch in the market where we try cemitas - a typical dish of the region which is basically a sandwich filled with chicken, cheese and avocado. We order one to share as they’re the size of my head and I still don’t have much of an appetite. 

That evening we head to El Mural de los Poblanos for dinner which is famous for its mole. I’m gutted as I still feel terrible and can’t stomach anything, so I sit and watch Raquel eat hers while I force down some chicken consommé! Lets hope I feel better tomorrow as it’s off to Oaxaca, the culinary capital of Mexico! 

Mexico City Part 2

​Day 3: Teotihuacan & Tacos 

Today I’d booked an airbnb experience tour to the Teotihuacan pyramids and archaeological site. I always find airbnb tours are the best ones, as they’re typically smaller groups and feel a little more authentic. 

We were picked up early morning by brothers Hugo and Gabriel who first drove us to their grandmothers house for pan dulce (sweet bread) and hot chocolate. There’s 12 of us on the tour, and I make friends with a couple of girls from Philadelphia, and my new gay best Mexican friend, Antonio.  

After breakfast, it’s off to the pyramids where we spend the next few hours. Hugo is incredibly knowledgeable and passionate which makes for a really interesting tour. I usually tend to zone out when faced with too much history, but I found the whole thing fascinating. 

After the pyramids, it’s back to granny’s house for some home made mole, beer and pulque tasting. Now you’re talking. We’re served two different mole sauces, both family secret recipes, both delicious! Another part of the family business is pulque, which is an alcoholic drink made from the fermented sap of the agave plant. It’s a pretty hard drink to describe, both in consistency and flavour! It’s a dying drink here, only really drunk by old men in pulquerias. There’s probably a good reason for that. The alcohol content is pretty low so you’d have to drink a lot of it to get drunk, but you’d probably spew first from the taste of it rather than the intoxication. 

That night I head to my third taco tour, this time in the Narvarte area, which is known as “Tacoland”.  I’ve been to a lot of big cities in my time, but I have to say the traffic here is fucking nuts! It took me 1 hour to drive 6km in an Uber. I’d have been quicker walking in hindsight! The trip cost me £7, so it’s a wonder they make any bloody money with journeys taking so long.

The guide, Nico, is waiting for me in the first stop with two other tourists, Paul and Sue from Surrey. The first British people I’ve met here so far (it’s been mainly Americans unsurprisingly). We have three taco stops and one mezcal stop on the tour. 

On the way to the first taco stop, Nico tells us that the price of tortillas is regulated by the government as they’re seen as a constitutional right, which is kinda cool but also nuts. They literally eat tortillas for breakfast, lunch and dinner here. 

We visit the infamous El Vilsito which is an auto repair shop by day and a taqueria by day and night. I might suggest this idea to my garage in Bruntsfield when I get home. There’s multiple taco stations where poor sods sweat it out carving the rotating meat. They’re famous for their tacos al pastor, and it’s definitely one of the best I’ve had so far! 

It’s a very short walk across the road to Tacos Tony, another institution in the area, this time famous for tacos suadero - beef brisket cooked in lots of fat. Dirty and delicious! 

We also check out a typical cantina, which is a restaurant/bar where lots of people congregate to drink and eat. Similar to Granada in Spain, you order drinks and you get a shit tonne of food! As you’d expect it’s a slightly higher mark up on the beer, but it’s still cheap as chips, and they only make money because produce is so cheap to buy here. 

I jump in a taxi to salsa club, Mama Rumba, to check out the local dancing talent and burn off the tacos. Unsurprisingly most dancers do Cuban style, which is just as well as the dance floor is PACKED. Unlike at home, the guys don’t really pay any attention to where they’re flinging you here, and I found myself constantly bumping into waiters with trays of drinks. Still, I had a lot of decent dances, particularly with a couple of guys who wouldn’t leave me alone no matter how much I tried to hide. After 2 hours of dancing, I head home and collapse. 

Day 4: Nacho Libre! 

My friend Raquel arrived today which I’m excited about. I love to travel alone, but it’s also nice to share the experience with someone else! We walk to the town centre, grab a taco and sit outside in the sun drinking beer. Things are gearing up for the fiestas, so the centre is rammed with locals, tourists, singers and dancers. 

We head to Plaza Garibaldi (where all the mariachi bands play) to meet our tour guide. Tonight is another Airbnb experience - nacho libre! Our guide explains the rules (or lack thereof) tothe group as we eat tacos and drink beer. We’re then handed our own masks before making our way to the venue. 

We arrive for the last three matches, and the atmosphere in the arena is amazing! I used to have to put up with my brother constantly watching WWE when we were younger and I hated it because it was so ridiculously stupid. But I had one of the best nights in a long time, I fucking loved every minute of it! 

Tonight was my last in Mexico City, and I feel ready to move on to smaller, less stressful towns. Next stop, Puebla!