Iguazu: Waterfalls and wine

 Day 11: Puerto Iguazu 

Today was a travel day, so not much excitement to report! I checked out of my Airbnb at 12 and arrived in Iguazu at 9pm. Annoyingly there’s no direct flights to Iguazu from Salta so I had to fly back to Buenos Aires. 

I’m staying in Puerto Iguazu as it’s the most convenient location for accessing Iguazu Falls. It’s like night and day compared to everywhere else I’ve been so far. It feels a little tacky, I’m not a fan.

I’m dying for a beer, so set out to find a bar. I arrive at what feels like “the strip” and pick the first place I see, battling through the touts trying to entice me to eat in their restaurants. Yup, definitely Costa del sol vibes! I pick the first bar I see. A beer is a beer at the end of the day! I decide to skip dinner tonight, it’s late and I could do with a lighter calorie day! 

Day 12: Iguazu Falls (Argentina side)

After stopping off at Excelso for a coffee and a cheese and ham omelette, I jump on the bus headed to the Iguazu Falls, the world’s largest set of waterfalls and one of the 7 wonders of the world.

The most famous walking route, the garganta del diablo, is closed for repair due to heavy flooding, but there’s two other good trails that offer spectacular views of the waterfalls. I’ve seen a lot of beautiful sights since I’ve been in Argentina, but this is probably the most impressive. And there was the clearest rainbow just below one of the waterfalls. Pretty magical.

I was told by many people that the boat ride under the falls is an unmissable experience. They weren’t wrong. It starts with a 20 minute truck ride through the jungle as you try to spot toucans and jaguars. We didn’t see anything other than lizards and butterflies, which are literally everywhere in the park. Next up is the boat ride where they drive you right up to the falls and you get some of the best views from the river. We’re then taken right under them and get absolutely drenched. Luckily someone told me to take a change of clothes (easier said than done in my situation) so I didn’t have to walk around in wet clothes for the rest of the afternoon. 

That evening I head to Aqva restaurant for dinner. It’s a 30 minutes wait for a table, but while I’m sat waiting I get chatting to a girl called Jo, who lives in London. She’s travelling Peru, Argentina and Brazil for 6 weeks. We instantly hit it off so decide to have dinner together and spend the whole night chatting about our previous travels. Her luggage also never arrived (she flew BA from Heathrow) so she feels my pain! Her case arrived 3 weeks later, which gives me some degree of hope that I may see mine again! 

For dinner we both order local river fish which is a nice change from meat. We swap numbers and agree to meet for drinks and dinner again the next night. 

Day 12: Iguazu Falls (Brazil side) 

I set off early this morning for the bus to the Brazil side of the falls, as I was told the border can be quite time consuming to cross. There is only one trail on the Brazil side, so it only takes me an hour, but you get a very different perspective of the waterfalls compared to Argentina so it’s definitely worth the trip. Just be prepared to battle your way through a swarm of selfie sticks. On this side you can get right up close to the biggest waterfall in the park, and the noise is pretty deafening!  They’re taller and twice as wide as Niagra with over 275 waterfalls. Pretty epic! 

As I have time to kill before my bus back, I head to the bird sanctuary. Finally I get to see some toucans, after seeing none in the jungle yesterday. 

That night I meet up with Jo and 5 other people she’d met on her tour that day, including Cedric and his nephew Matt from Houston Texas. We meet at Patanegra for dinner, which is a really cool bar/restaurant with a pool and live music. We have some great conversation over a couple bottles of Malbec and an awesome ribeye steak (there was never any other choice for my last meal here!)

While I’m sad my trip is over, I’m also absolutely exhausted and really looking forward to not hand washing my pants in the sink every night. 

I now have a long day with 4 flights ahead of me until home. Iguazu > Buenos Aires > Madrid > London > Edinburgh. I fully intend on finding an Iberia desk and I shan’t be moving until they tell me where the fuck my case is! Let’s hope Santa brings it back to me for Christmas.

Until my next adventure…

Salta: Mountains, music and more meat!

Day 7: Salta 

I arrive in Salta at around 1pm, just in time for lunch. It’s overcast here, and only 23 degrees (that’s just a good Scottish summer). I’m surprised because everyone kept telling me how unbearably hot Salta would be. My Airbnb host tells me it’s been 40+ the past few days, so hopefully it improves. 

Salta is famous for its empanadas, so I head straight to Dona Salta for lunch and order two empanadas and humitas. Not bad, but nothing special. The best thing on the table was the fresh tomato salsa which I spoon liberally over everything. 

I have 90 minutes to see the town before the England game starts. Perfectly doable at my pace. I instantly like Salta a lot. It has a nice small town feel to it and it’s one of the prettiest I’ve been to so far. After wandering around the town square, I hop on the cable car up to Cerro San Bernardo. It’s possible to walk up the hill, but I learnt my lesson from last time, so I take the lazy option with the cable car!After taking some mandatory photos, I head straight for the nearest pub as the England v France game is about to start! 

The pub is rammed! I feel like there’s more tourists here than the other places I’ve visited so far though. Which is fine, unless those tourists are, you guessed it…French! I can never escape them wherever I go! I would’ve liked England to win, but I feel less gutted about travelling home during the final. Can you imagine if it were an Argentina v England final and I would have just missed it!

Before dinner that night, I head to Paseo Balcarce where there are lots of bars. I sit on the terrace at Gintoneria where it’s 2 for 1 happy hour. I try the local gin which is pretty decent. 

My evening meal tonight is at Jose Balcarce and its one of the tastiest I’ve had on my trip so far. To start, I ordered a single empanada. I like to try them everywhere I go, but also don’t want to ruin my appetite, so one is enough. For main it’s pork with pumpkin mash and a sweet and sticky sauce. I know everyone raves about Argentine beef, but I tell you what, their pork is incredible! This is the second pork dish I’ve had while I’ve been here and both have been stand out plates of food. 

Day 8: Purmamarca 

The next morning I head to Hertz to pick up my hire car. Although I ordered a sat nav, I’m told they’ve none left. I briefly throw my toys out of the pram before I realise I can use my offline map for navigation. The maps.me app is an absolute life saver by the way, until it takes you down roads that don’t exist that is…

I set off in my Chevrolet, which has the highest biting point of any car ever. Cue LOTS of revving! It takes me about 2.5 hours to get to Purmamarca where I’m spending the evening. I stop briefly in the town square to grab a tortilla rellena de queso y jamón (basically their version of a cheese and ham toastie done on the bbq). I then spend the next hour traversing the steep windy roads to reach Salinas Grandes - the salt flats. Large parts of the road are completely impassable on one side due to fallen rocks. Cue a fun game of chicken! I’m so glad I decided to rent a car as opposed to doing a bus tour here as that would’ve been torture! 

When I eventually arrive at the salt flats I’m a little disappointed I won’t lie. It’s basically a massive pool of shallow water. I’m from Scotland. That’s my day to day view! I know it’s only because I’m visiting in summer - i’m sure it’s a lot more impressive at the right time of year. Nonetheless I take the customary actions photos before the one hour drive back to the village. 

I check into my Eco Cabin where I’m greeted by Greta and Gontar, the resident dogs. It’s not long before I’ve adopted them as my own and they’re in my cabin on my bed. 

I spend the next couple of hours walking around the town and climbing the viewpoints of the 7 coloured hills. It’s such a beautiful spot, and pictures don’t do it justice. I buy a very large bottle of local beer on my walk home and sit on my porch with my pooches and my mountain views. 

On suggestion of my Airbnb host, I check out Los Morteros for dinner. The venue itself is nice, with a massive wood burning fire which I imagine is really nice in the winter months. I order two empanadas to start - one beef and one goats cheese. Both have my seal of approval. My waitress recommends the llama stew. I haven’t had llama before, and as an ex vegetarian, I’m hesitant. But, when in Rome…

To be honest, if you hadn’t told me what it was, it could’ve been any other type of meat. It wasn’t a memorable meal. To top it off, I ordered a glass of red wine and was told they didn’t have any wine by the glass left. I take a look around, bottles of wine lining the walls. It’s not difficult love, just bloody open one and charge by the glass! 

After dinner I let the music be my guide and I’m drawn to a bar with a live guitarist/singer. Well, I couldn’t possibly spend a day here without drinking any wine now could I? I order a Malbec and spend an hour watching the musician and making friends with the clientele - a group of old women from Argentina, a couple from Brazil and a couple from Chile. The guitarist goes around the room after every song asking for requests. Ermmm, do ya ken 500 miles?! 

I have to set off in the car early the next morning so I head back to my cabin for an early night. My guard dogs keep me up most of the night with their barking, but I still love them. 

Day 9: Humahaca and Tilcara 

I have a long day of driving ahead of me today, so I get up at the crack of dawn and drive 2 hours to the 14 coloured hill. It’s only an hour to Humahaca, but it takes an additional hour to drive the 15 miles from there up the winding roads to the scenic lookout. I use the word road very loosely, as most of the way is unpaved and very slow to traverse in a standard car. The sensible thing would have been to pay for a 4x4 transport in the town centre, but I think we’ve established by now that I’m anything but sensible. Because it’s so early, I see very few other cars on the road at this point. I’ve got visions of me getting a puncture and being totally stranded! After what feels like an age, I make it to the viewpoint. The air is pretty thin at the top, being 4350 metres above sea level. Walking up hill is hard! I’m hoping it’s all due to the altitude as opposed to my lack of exercise over the last 10 days. 

Although the drive was worth it, I think I picked the wrong time of day to visit due to the positioning of the sun, as the colours of the mountain weren’t as visible. But still a pretty incredible sight. 

The next stop is the little town of Tilcara where I stop for a wander and lunch at El Patio. Craving something light, I order a salad. It’s basic, but I exactly what was needed! The plan was to drive a few miles to la garganta del diablo, a waterfall on the outskirts of town. This is where my offline map loses the plot, creating roads that just don’t exist. After 15 minutes of driving around in circles, I give up and begin my 3 hour journey back to Salta capital. 

I have to return the car full so I stop at a petrol station. It costs me £18 to fill the tank. £18! And they even wash your windscreen while they fill your tank. 

I feel like it’s been at least 2 days since I had steak, so for dinner that night I head to El Charrua for a nice juicy sirloin and salad. You don’t need to order any sides when you order steak here as the cuts are massive!

Day 10: Cachi

It’s pissing down this morning, perfect timing for my full day scenic trip to the town of Cachi. Not very scenic when you can see fuck all for clouds, which was unfortunately the case when we arrived at the Cuesta del Obispo lookout. Google it, its a massive green valley and looks stunning. It did not look like that when I was there! 

Typically the weather clears an hour later when we arrive at the next stop, Parque Nacional Los Cardones. It’s an enormous cactus field on one side with beautiful coloured mountains on the other. The landscape changes so drastically in such a short distance here. 

The final stop is the town of Cachi where we have lunch, which is a typical stuffed pepper dish with beef and rice. I make friends with the only other English speaking person, Emily, who is from New Zealand and we spend the next hour wandering around the village. It doesn’t take us long, there’s not much to see! 

We hop back on the bus to return to Salta. Argentina are playing Croatia in the semi-final at 4pm so the tour guide asks the group if we want to stop somewhere to watch the game. I can’t imagine a tour company anywhere else in the world diverting an entire tour group to watch a football game, but this is Argentina where football is life. I’m obviously thrilled about it, as I was gutted at the prospect of missing the match. So, we stop at a petrol station cafe to watch Argentina win. At this point I’m seriously contemplating changing my flight to a day later so I’m here for the final! 

As expected, the roads are hell on the way back to Salta as people line the streets celebrating. When we arrive back to town, I attempt to make my way to the square to watch the celebrations. I only get so far before I’m faced with a wall of people and give up trying to go any further. Absolutely nuts! 

I expected the atmosphere in the town to be buzzing after the win, but the bars are fairly quiet. It seems the locals celebrate in the hours after the game, and possibly continue the party at home where it’s cheaper. 

Tonight, I head to a local Peña, La Casona de Molino. These are traditional Argentinian gatherings with food, drink and folklore music. 

It’s about 2km outside of town, and bit of a trek from the more touristy bars and restaurants. From what I can see it’s all local people, and I’m the only tourist, which I love. It feels far more authentic than some of the other peñas in the city centre. 

I sit down at the table beside the large outdoor grill so I can watch the chef in action. I can feel the heat of the flames from where I’m sitting, so lord knows how this poor sod is coping. Plus, this is a big place, and he’s the only one cooking. The grill is stacked high with different cuts of meats at any one time, so I’ve no idea how he keeps tracks of what’s ready! 

I have no choice but to order a steak! It arrives on the medium to well done side, not that i’m surprised given how many he’s juggling. Still, it’s bloody delicious, perfectly charred on the outside and very well seasoned. 

Suddenly, the group of men at the table behind me whip out their guitars and drums and start singing some traditional Argentinian songs. During their break, I ask if they work here or whether anyone can bring their guitars and play. They tell me they’re paid to play each night and then ask if I’m alone. When I tell them yes they insist that I join them at their table, so now I have the best seat in the house. They’re a really lovely bunch of guys, and very talented musicians. We drink and chat away in between sets until about 1230. It was definitely one of the more memorable nights I’ve had on my trip and one I’ll always remember. 

I’ve loved the Salta province, and it’s probably been my favourite area of my trip so far. Beautiful scenery, amazing food and lovely people. Now it’s onto my final stop, Iguazu. 

Mendoza: Gauchos, goals and gallons of wine

 Day 4: Mendoza city 

So today I discovered Argentinian low cost airlines are shit. Surprising I know. The plane is delayed an hour, and when it finally arrives, we’re informed the aircon is broken and it’s a fully booked flight. The overhead oxygen mask compartments are stuck down with sticky tape and peeling at the ends. BUT, in more positive news, I still had my hand luggage after the flight!

I arrive in Mendoza and its HOT! Sweltering heat aside, I already feel more comfortable here than Buenos Aires. The pace is far more relaxed and it’s a much more manageable size! I head straight for lunch at Fuente y Fonda, where I break from tradition and order pork with sweet potato mash and mustard sauce. The portion is ridiculously huge so I only manage half. It’s served with bread, salad, and they even through in a choice of dessert. I opt for the queso y dulce (literally translates as cheese and sweet) which is becoming my favourite thing here.  It’s basically a slice of cheese with a gelatin like jam on top. It’s so basic, but so delicious! The whole meal, with wine, costs me £10. Bargain! 

Having seen most of the city in 30 minutes, I decide to walk out to Cerro de la Gloria, a small hill which is a 4 or 5 kilometre walk. I figure I’ll walk there and taxi back. Boy did I live to regret that decision. It was an afternoon of mistakes, particularly deciding to embark on the trek during the hottest part of the day, and discovering there was practically zero shade on the route. Unsurprisingly, I passed no-one else on my way. But at this point I’m committed, albeit starting to worry about heat stroke.

I was so relieved to arrive at the foot of the hill until it dawned on me that I had to climb the damn thing! Being honest, I was THIS close to calling it a day and heading back to town. But I’d come this far! So I struggle on, the water in my bottle about to melt the plastic. 

The reward wasn’t worth the effort. Even if I had been met at the top with a naked Channing Tatum pouring a bucket of ice cold water over my head and handing me a pint, I still wouldn’t have done it. I ask the police officer at the top the easiest way back to town. He responds by asking why I don’t just jump back on the people carrier that carts tourists back and forth from the centre. When I tell him

I walked here he looks at me like I have 3 heads. Yes officer, I know, I’m a knobhead!

After my narrow escape from death, I head home to take a cold shower and relax then enjoy a lovely cocktail at Gingger before heading to Azafrán for dinner. Its definitely more on the fine dining side than the places I’ve eaten at so far. But I like to mix it up wherever I go. 

I’m poured a sparkling wine as I sit down and given a pre dinner snack - a goats cheese macaron. It’s both sweet and savoury and absolutely bloody delicious. We’re off to a good start! Next is the beef tartare with egg yolk and qinuoa crumb. Erm, yes please. Followed by goat, black garlic and potato crisps. Really tasty, but super rich and definitely bigger than it needed to be! For main, it’s hake with pesto and beans. This was definitely my favourite course of the evening! But again, the portions size is ridiculous, I’ve never seen a hake so big in my life! Too full for dessert, I enjoy the complimentary Dulce de leche chocolate and coffee before heading home to bed. The whole meal, with wine pairings, cost around £70. 

Day 5: Lujan de Cuyo

The next morning, after my daily medialuna and coffee, I jump in a taxi and head 20 minutes south to Chacras de Coria, my base for the next two days. This is proper wine country, and the whole reason for my visit! My Airbnb host, Raul, is super friendly and insists on driving me to the bike rental place. Once there, I’m given a bike and a map and sent on my merry way! Well, the merry part comes later…

The bike paths are sporadic and I found myself cycling on roads most of the time. That’s probably because I went beyond the boundaries of the map I was given to visit the bodega I had booked for lunch. I never like to do things the easy way, as you’ve probably realised by now. But it’s all part of the experience! 

My first stop is Bodega Viamonte. The setting is incredible against the backdrop of the Andes mountains. It’s so beautiful it doesn’t looks real, like you’re looking at a postcard. The photos don’t do it justice. My wine flight includes three wines, one white and two reds. I knock them back in quick succession - no fannying around. I’ve got more wineries to visit! 

My next stop is a 30 minute cycle in sweltering heat and no shade. Theme of the trip. But at least if I pick up the speed I have the breeze to keep me cool. Plus, think of all the meat and empanadas calories I’m burning!

I arrive at Bodega Renacer and it’s just as beautiful as the first. Only this one has DOGS. I’m in heaven. Here I enjoy a 3 course lunch, beginning with the most incredible burrata salad I’ve ever had in my life. I think it was the macerated strawberries and the orange vinegarette that made it. Next up is, yes you guessed it, steak! I order it medium rare, but I’d say it was more medium. I’m surrounded by four beautiful dogs at this point so I couldn’t care less. Dessert is red velvet biscuit with ice cream. I’ve had four wines here to accompany the food, and the portions are generous. Plus they ask which one you liked most then fill up your glass. Luckily I’m not driving. It’s at this point I should point out, for my mother’s sake, that my bike came equipped with a helmet. Now whether I wore it or not is another thing…

The last bodega on my self guided bike tour is the man, the myth, the legend, Carmelo Patti. His reputation precedes him, and it’s easy to see why. He speaks barely any English, so if you don’t speak Spanish you might struggle to follow his tour. But regardless of language, what’s easy to understand is his passion for what he does and the wine he produces. Which by the way is delicious. Unfortunately I couldn’t buy any to take home, given I’m now travelling with hand luggage. Thanks Iberia. 

I head back to my Airbnb for a much needed dip in the pool. When I say pool, I mean hole in the ground with water, which I enter in my mis-matched bra and pants because my bikini is somewhere in Madrid. Nevertheless, it’s super refreshing and I’m only slightly embarrassed when Raul pops over with a pool towel. 

Dinner tonight is 25 minutes away at Cavas Wine Lodge, a 5 star hotel and winery. The location is absolutely stunning. If I ever find a man good enough to marry me, I may well do it here! 

Exiting my classy Fiat Uber, I’m greeted at the door of the chateau by my waiter who offers me a glass of red and shows me to my table. If there’s ever a time where I wish I had my nice clothes, this is it! The setting is incredible, and I have a table overlooking the vineyards and the mountains. A very romantic meal for one.

I have to say, at no point have I sat down to a meal here and felt hungry. The heat really does something to your appetite, and my stomach is full from the litres of water I’m drinking to stay hydrated! But, I soldier on regardless and do what I do best. Eat!

I settle on two courses. To start, I order the  vegetarian dish which is pumpkin wrapped in grilled zucchini with a creamy almond purée. It was unbelievably tasty, and nicely matched with a Sauvignon Blanc. They grow and serve their own wine here and you can’t drink or buy it anywhere else but in the hotel, which is a shame because it’s delicious. 

For main, I’d ordered the duck on suggestion of the waiter. I have to say I was disappointed. The duck was tough, I couldn’t cut it with my knife, and it was over salted. That’s what you get when you decide to have a break from beef!

I definitely got my moneys worth in wine though. I did the wine pairing with my courses, but they constantly top up your glass when you finish and don’t charge any extra. Which came in handy when I had to wait 30 minutes for my taxi to arrive. 

Day 6: Gauchos and asados!

I’m up bright and early for my 7am pick up. Today is my guacho experience day, one of the things I’ve been looking forward to most. 

It’s about a 2 hour drive to the ranch (El Rancho Rosario), but it takes Lucas, my driver, 3.5. We stop to pick up 5 kilos of meat and then spend the next hour driving back and forth along a dirt road looking for the entrance to the ranch. We stop at 4 farmhouses along the way to ask for directions. “Look for the two big rocks” they say. Very helpful, given there’s bloody rocks everywhere! As I’m losing the will to live, we finally find the entrance. 

The ranch is by a river in the middle of nowhere with the Andes mountain as a backdrop. I’ve been worse places. There to greet us is Gaucho Eduardo, Elena, who helps with Spanish translation when required, and her partner Gabriel. Thankfully I’m not doing the trip alone and I’m joined by Andy, a retired IT consultant from Kent. His wife and daughter are on a 3 day horse trek in the mountains with Jose, the owner of the ranch, and Andy stayed behind, not being a keen rider.

I arrived in shorts, but due to the sun, the chaffing and the branches, you really need to have your legs covered. With no other options, I end up in Andy’s hiking trousers. He’s over 6 feet, so you can imagine how well they fit me. I had to use the gaucho’s belt to stop them from falling down.

Looking the part, I clamber onto my horse, Bayo, and off we go. It’s apparent right from the start that Bayo doesn’t want to work. Who can blame him, it’s 33 degrees and I’ve eaten a LOT of steak. I find myself playing catch up most of the trek and I’m glad that it’s only a 2 hour ride! It was a great experience, and the scenery is spectacular, but my ass hurts and I’m ready for wine! 

We head down to the river where Lucas and Gabriel have been busy setting up our lunch spot and grilling the meats on the BBQ. The one thing I was intent on doing in Argentina was experience an authentic asado, and I couldn’t have asked for a better location or better company. We had different cuts of meats, chorizo sausages and grilled vegetables and it was all as delicious as I’d expected. So delicious that the dog nabbed a whole rack of ribs off the grill when we weren’t looking and bolted across the river. We were stuffed at that point anyway! 

At this point I’d have been driven back home, but Argentina are playing the Netherlands in an hour and football is life here. I couldn’t ask Lucas to miss the game to drive me home, and I wanted to see it myself. And what better way to experience the game than in a roadside bar in a small town in Mendoza with Argentinians! 

Watching a football match here is nothing like watching a game back home! When we enter the bar the match has started, and it’s absolute silence. I ask why, and I’m told it’s because everyone is very nervous. There’s also hardly anyone drinking alcohol (apart from Andy and I who are chugging beer at the back). If this was an England match, there’d have been countless fights by now and folk would be spewing out in the street. 

The place erupts when Argentina score their second goal, and everyone starts to relax, until the Netherlands start to make their come back. The equalising goal in the 10th minute of injury time was brutal to watch! When the penalties start, half the bar is outside smoking watching from window. It’s tense! Thankfully Argentina win on penalties and the place goes nuts! I’m extremely relieved as a 2 hour ride back home with a depressed Lucas wouldn’t have been fun! 

As we start our journey back, people are lining the streets waving flags and there’s cars driving around honking their horns. I ask Lucas where they’re going. Nowhere, he says. Just driving in circles celebrating. You’d think they’d have won the final! Never seen passion for football like it in my life! I can only imagine what the semi finals is going to be like on Tuesday. 

I get back to my Airbnb much later than expected and rush to my dinner reservation at Clos Chacras, a winery in the town centre. It’s a 3 course meal with wine pairings for less than £20. God bless Argentina. 

I order the duo of empanadas to start, which I have to say are some of the best I’ve had so far. I’ve eaten 5 kilos of meat today, so for main I order the ricotta and spinach pasta dumplings with carrot and parmesan. Dessert is a Malbec poached pear with a nut crumble, which I’m counting as one of my 5 a day. Completely exhausted, I head home to bed and pass out.

Mendoza has definitely been the highlight of my trip so far. Lovely scenery, lovely people and amazing food! Next stop, Salta! 

Buenos Aires: Tears, tantrums and tango

Day 1: Buenos Aires 

Well, Buenos Aires has not been very bueno for me!! I arrived at the airport to discover that my suitcase did not join me. Cue a very long wait at lost luggage, an incompetent employee, and a very tired and impatient Rhiannon. Those who know me well can imagine how this interaction went. I was close to getting thrown out of the country before I’d even entered it.

As I write this 3 days later, its whereabouts are still unknown, and Iberia have been less than helpful. The tracking website claims “the search continues”, like my suitcase is on the lamb after committing a serious crime. And no Greg, not a crime against fashion! I had some good shit in there! Fortunately, as this happened to me earlier this year in Colombia, I had the foresight to pack essential toiletries and a clean pair of pants in my hand baggage. But I got my suitcase back the next day in Colombia. I fear this time it’ll never be seen again.

After checking into my Airbnb to dump my imaginary suitcase, I grab a taxi to San Telmo market where hundreds of stalls stretch for miles selling cheap tat. Why do we love a Sunday market when travelling?? It’s rammed with people, and given the heat (33 degrees), my tiredness, and my frustration with Iberia, it’s the last place I want to be. I make a beeline for El Hornero and buy two empanadas to go. This place is well-known, which explains the long line to be served. I opt for the classic beef, which is delicious. 

After the market, I spend an hour or so wandering through the colourful streets of La Boca, watching some live tango and sampling some delicious craft beer at Temple bar. As expected, its a super touristy area but cute nonetheless. From here I jump in a taxi to Plaza de Mayo to see the Casa Rosada (with the famous Evita balcony). Despite being in the same dirty clothes and absolutely reeking from the flight, the taxi driver takes a shine to me and asks for my number. Must be my dazzling personality. He offers to take me out for dinner and to drive me to cheap shops where I can replace my lost clothes. I politely decline, imagining his form of payment being one I’m unwilling to make. 

I head to my Airbnb to shower and change into my one and only pair of clean pants before hitting the streets of Palermo in search of much needed alcohol. I have two delicious cocktails in Tres Monos before heading to Casa Coupage for a paired wine dining experience in Santiago and Luciana’s house. There’s 8 of us doing the experience tonight, including a couple from Barcelona, a couple from NYC, an annoying solo female traveller from

Chicago (there’s always one), and a couple from San Francisco. 

We start on the terrace with a lovely white wine and amazing goats cheese empanada. All wines throughout the night, and there is ALOT of wine, are tasted blind. Each set of wines is paired with a food course, and each changes the flavours of the dishes (not to sound like a total wine wanker or anything). The food, cooked by chef Paco, is incredible and I’m happy to get my first (but definitely not my last) taste of Argentine beef! 

We’re all hammered by the end of the evening and head to our respective homes to pass out in a food and wine coma. Short lived for me with my jet lag, waking up bright and early at 6am. 

Day 2: Buenos Aires 

My original plans the next day changed, based on the fact I had zero clean clothes left. The last thing I want to do here is shop. Well, the last thing I want to do anywhere is shop as I hate it with a passion. This is where things get a little complicated. 

Here’s the problem with Argentina. You can’t get your hands on Argentine pesos until you’re physically in the country. There’s two exchange rates - the official one you get when using bank cards or withdrawing from ATMs which is terrible, and the “blue rate” which you obtain illegally on the street in exchange for US dollars. The middle ground is to opt for transferring money to a Western Union and withdrawing in cash. This is the option I went for. This will get you almost double the money compared to withdrawing via an ATM. What I hadn’t anticipated was how fucking difficult it would be to find a Western Union that a) had any money left or b) didn’t have a queue a mile long. 

Things here aren’t as cheap as I expected, and it’s actually far dearer to buy clothes here compared to back home. I head to an area where there are cheaper clothes (and a western union with cash!) The clothes are terrible quality, but the shop attendants carry your chosen items around as you go, like you’re having a fucking personal shopping experience in Harrods or something. I buy a few things to keep me going, along with a bar of laundry soap so I can wash as I go and rotate outfits every few days. I’ve resigned myself to being a full blown hobo for the next 2 weeks. Might let my armpit hair grow and everything. Fuck it. 

Lunch today is a typical Argentinian one - Choripán. Which, if you haven’t discovered from the name, means chorizo sandwich. Luckily I’d done my research before travelling (by watching Somebody Feed Phil) and headed to Chori in Palmero. I ordered the classic choripán with chimichurri and a beer and it was delicious! 

That evening I had dinner at The Argentine Experience - a concept where fellow travellers come together to learn about Argentine culture through the best way possible - food! The group consisted mainly of Americans, and I found myself being the token Scot yet again. The couple sat next to me from Arizona were a good laugh, and it was a great experience overall. They had us making our own empanadas and brewing our own mate tea, which was fun. Not much is open on a Monday night here, so I head home and fall instantly asleep. 

Day 3: Buenos Aires 

I’ve a lot to cram into my last day in BA due to all the time wasted sorting out my lost luggage issues. I start with a typical Argentinian breakfast - medialuna (croissant) seeping with butter, and a really decent coffee at Atelier Fuerza. From there I walk to Recoleta cemetery which you could easily spend hours getting lost in. Despite having no map, I manage to stumble upon the tomb of Eva Perón. Job well done, I head to El Sanjuanino for a beef empanada and a beer. Apparently somewhat of an institution here, but I feel it’s one of those places that has become a tourist trap and relies on its name as opposed to its food. 

My food crawl continues with El Cuartito, famous for its pizza, in particular La Fugazzetta, which is literally a shit tonne of melted cheese and onions on a pizza base. There are not enough napkins in the world for the mess you will find yourself in after eating this slice. 

My self-guided walking tour of Buenos Aires continues with a flying visit to the Palacio Bartolo and the Obelisk, before a pit stop in Cafe Tortoni for a typical drink, Fernet and coke, which is a type of Italian liqueur. Not my favourite. 

That night I head to Estilo Campo restaurant in Puerto Madero for dinner. On approach, I see half a cow dangling above open flames and know I’m in for a treat. I’m glad I didn’t order starters as I’m presented with a 4 person portion of bread plus assorted snacks. I order the bife al chorizo (sirloin) and ask for it like I always do, jugoso. It arrives with lattice crisps, which quite frankly need to be packaged up and sold back home! The  meat itself is exceptional. Arguably the best I’ve had in my time here so far. It required very minimal chewing which, after walking 14 miles that day, was welcomed as I was exhausted. The whole meal, which included 2 glasses of wine, was £20! I had a few comments on the rareness of the beef. You’re all wrong. It’s perfect and it’s how it should be eaten (and that’s coming from an ex-vegetarian)!

My night concludes with a tango show at Piazzola Tango. I have a very romantic table for one right at the front of the stage (clearly they took pity on me). I spent a LOT of time deliberating which show to see before I came here, and I’m glad I went with this one, not that I have a base for comparison. The musicians and dancers were spectacular and from the moment it started until the moment it ended I was mesmerised. If I had more time I would’ve for sure taken a tango class here! I’ll have to settle for my my mum and dad showing me a few moves when I get home!

Overall, I probably didn’t experience Buenos Aires to its full potential, based on all of my troubles. On first impressions, it seems like your typical South American capital city. But I’m sure there’s far more to it, which I didn’t have time to discover. 

An interesting start to the holiday for sure. But I’ve now gone through the 5 stages of grief and have finally accepted my situation. Now it’s off to Mendoza to drink ALL the wine!