Cartagena de Indias

Day 1:

After a 4 hour taxi ride from Tayrona, I arrive in Cartagena. It’s a beautiful city, with little streets lined with colourful colonial style buildings. My hotel room overlooks the Torre del Reloj, the main city gate of the historic centre. 

That afternoon I join a food tour run by a local chef. It’s 2.5 hours of non-stop eating, however 90% of the food we tried was deep friend and I felt pretty disgusting by the end! The last few stops I only managed a few bites before secretly binning the rest. I reckon most people in this country have heart problems. The best food that day was the first stop, which was a prawn cocktail. 

That evening, Ben messages and asks if I want to meet for a drink (the French guy I met in Medellin). I have no other plans, and he’s a nice enough guy, so I agree. We sample a few bars in the area, one of which was recommended to me by the food tour guide as a good place to dance salsa (La Caponera). Yet again I find that while the music is good, there are few people dancing. Seems like I should have gone to Cali!

In the last bar, The Rum Box, we bump into three American guys who were on the food tour with me earlier that day. They’re hammered after their rum tasting and invite us to go with them to a rooftop bar, Mirador, which I quickly realise is directly above my hotel room. Great. I have no choice but to get as drunk as possible so I’ll pass out and not be kept up by the noise. 

Day 2:

I joined a free tour of the old city in the morning in my attempt to learn a bit of history about Cartagena. It’s so friggin hot though it’s hard to concentrate on anything the tour guide says. He mentions that this weekend there are elections which means no alcohol can be sold or consumed in shops, restaurants or bars on Saturday and Sunday. Luckily I’m going home on Saturday, but there are going to be some very pissed off tourists! 

After the tour I stopped for lunch at La Mulata and had the fried fish and coconut rice with a limonada de coco (coconut lemonade), which is probably my favourite thing in Colombia. Even better when you add a shot of rum to it, but then I would say that. 

That evening I went to Alquimico cocktail bar for some pre dinner drinks. Hands down some of the best cocktails I’ve ever had in my life, which is high praise coming from someone who drinks for a living. I had 3 in the hour that I was there, each one better than the last. 

I head to the restaurant where I meet my two gay Croatian besties (sorry Greg, come back to me when you’re built like a brick shit house and we’ll talk). Colombia has been great in that way, as I’ve found myself meeting people in one city and we coincide in the next. Danka is a doctor specialising in gynaecology and currently lives in Miami. No wonder he’s gay looking at vaginas all day. Bernard is an international politics journalist. It’s clear the two of them aren’t strapped for cash!Dinner is at Celele, considered the best restaurant in Cartagena and in the top 50 in Latin America. The plates are really unusual but tasty. It’s about £55 a head for the courses and wine, so still incredibly cheap by our standards! 

After dinner, the guys are keen to check out the gay scene so we head to The City Club. Heads turn when we walk in, not for me obviously. Danka instantly whips his top off loving the attention. Bernard needs a bit more coaxing, but eventually takes his off too when I tell him I need to get a photo for my mum! 

The next morning I’m feeling quite rough so it’s a later start. I walk to the castle on the outskirts of town, built by the Spanish to protect the city from pirates and other enemies. Historical culture box ticked I head for lunch. The Croatians recommended a place called Mar Y Zielo which they said was the best meal they’ve had so far. I ordered the crab croquettes to start followed by slow cooked pork with a carrot purée and then the banana cake with mango sorbet and coconut foam. Amazing. 

The afternoon is spent exploring the Getsemani area of town. It used to be a really rough area but now it’s a popular area for tourists with lots of great bars and restaurants. It has a hippy vibe, the streets are lined with bunting, flags,  umbrellas and some awesome graffiti art. On my walk back through the park to my hotel, I spot the resident sloths. There are  8 in total, and one is nursing a tiny baby 😍. 

I’m not at all hungry, but it’s my last night and there’s one dish I’ve yet to try - the Posta Cartagenera - which I order at La Cocina de Pepina. It’s a beef dish with a sauce made from Coca Cola and Worcestershire sauce served with coconut rice. After dinner I swing by Cafe Havana, which is a salsa club with live music. It doesn’t get busy until much later, but I’m too tired to hang around for very long and it’s hard to dance in flip flops!

Final Day:

My flight isn’t until 7pm, so I booked a catamaran trip around the Rosarios islands just off the coast. The boat docked at two different locations for swimming/snorkelling. The sun is so strong, but you don’t feel it due to the breeze. As a result, I’m burnt to fuck on my last day. 

The best thing is that the no alcohol rule this weekend doesn’t apply at sea. Result. While having a swim I hear Scottish accents, the first I’ve heard since I’ve been in Colombia. There’s a guy and his wife who live in Edinburgh not far from me. Small world. 

Speaking of Edinburgh, it’s time to head home. It’s been an awesome couple of weeks and I’ve loved every minute spent in this country. Travelling is a privilege and I’m fortunate to add Colombia to the list of amazing places I’ve visited. Now, straight to the chippy when I get home for some deep fried goodness…not! 

Tayrona National Park

Day 1: 

After the most amazing avocado toast breakfast at Hija Mia, I head to the airport to catch my flight to the North coast. I arrive at my hotel, Senda Watapuy, at around 330. The hotel is beautiful and is brand new - it only just opened in December. 

It’s HOT but the sun still eludes me as it’s overcast. That doesn’t stop me from enjoying a few margaritas in my private plunge pool at the back of my cabin. Better still, everything can be ordered through an app so you don’t have to move. I give the barman a good little workout that afternoon.

Dinner in the hotel is incredible. It’s one chef cooking for all guests, and it’s an open kitchen so you can watch him at work. I ordered the beef carpaccio to start followed by robalo (snook fish) which was done in a pesto dressing and served with mustard mash and grilled vegetables. Hands down the tastiest meal I’ve had on my trip, and I’d be more than happy if you served it to me in a Michelin restaurant. I’ve not even finished my meal and I’m already thinking about what I’m going to order tomorrow night! 

Day 2: Tayrona National Park 

I wake up early to start my walk. The sun is finally shining and the sun cream gets its first outing. The park entrance is 10 minutes walk from my hotel and I arrive to chaos. As soon as you enter they rattle off lots of instructions to you in Spanish. If you don’t speak the language, you’re fucked. I have to help a few people who clearly don’t know where to go or what to do. 

In total I think I wait in line for about an hour to get through security and buy my ticket, after almost losing my shit at the cashier. There are 8 cash desks. I’m waiting in line and desk number 2 becomes available. I approach and I’m told desk number 1 and 2 are for Colombians only. Not that there’s a sign anywhere! I go back in line and I wait for desk 3, where I’m given a ticket stub and told to pay at cash desk number 2, where I just came from. After paying i’m directed BACK to desk number 3 to get my wrist band. Lord alive how fucking difficult do you want to make this process?! Welcome to South America.

It’s about a 2 hour walk from the entrance to San Cabo beach. On the way, I encounter numerous monkeys casually chilling in the trees. I’m scarred for life after being chased by a monkey in Bali, so I keep my distance. 

Tayrona park has quite a few beaches, most of which you can’t actually swim in due to the strong currents. San Cabo is the main beach where you are able to swim. The beach itself is nice, but nothing spectacular. I have a quick dip in the ocean and walk back to my hotel, which is a far nicer place to relax! At the hotel pool I start chatting to two english girls, Laura and Imogen, who are also holidaying here for 2 weeks. We bond over our shared love of the hotel’s margaritas which are delicious, and very strong. We end up having dinner together that night and agree to meet up again in Cartagena. 

Medellín

Day 1: El Poblado

I arrived at the airport to discover my flight had been delayed 4 hours. Very annoying as it meant that I didn’t make it to Medellín in time for the afternoon walking tour I had planned. It also meant killing a lot of time in a really shitty airport.

Due to the delay I didn’t get to my hotel until close to 5, so thought I might as well use the gym before dinner! The gym is attached to the dance studio so I was treated to a little salsa show while exercising which was nice, if not a little awkward! 

My hostel, Los Patios, is great. The staff are super friendly and the rooftop bar, where I have a pre dinner drink, has amazing views! As I’m sipping my margarita I’m approached by a guy who strikes up a conversation. He asks where I’m from and I ask the same question. He answers “America, do you know it?” Thinking he’s clearly joking I answer sarcastically “nope, never heard of it”. He responds saying it’s north of Colombia. Erm, of course I know where America is, it’s the 3rd largest country in the world you pleb! Luckily he doesn’t hang around long, but things go from bad to worse when I’m then approached by a Frenchman. Come on now, it wouldn’t be a blog of mine if I didn’t moan about the French now would it?! As far as French people go, Ben is actually rather nice and we chat away until my dinner reservation. 

Dinner is at Oci and it’s delicious. I order the codito de cerdo (pork knuckle) with potato puree. After dinner I head to a bar for a drink. I’m staying in El Poblado which is considered one of the safer areas of the city. That’s pretty evident as the place is crawling with expats and tourists. As a result, it doesn’t feel as authentic as the other places I’ve visited so far. I like it, but I also feel like I could be anywhere right now and it feels a bit like “the strip” you find in most party destinations. I sit outside and order a gin and tonic, which almost matches spain in terms of strength! 

I then head to Son Habana as my hostel told me this is the best place to dance salsa. I’m not convinced. The live music is good, but there’s few people dancing and there’s no mixing of partners. I guess the best places to dance are in the less touristy areas.

Day 2: Fruit tour & Comuna 13

The morning starts with a coffee and almond croissant at Pergamino, which is apparently a bit of an institution here. Good coffee, decent croissant. I’ve had better. 

The “I could be anywhere feeling” is certainly gone today. The morning is spent  doing an exotic fruit tour at a local market. In total we sampled 15 fruits (a fraction of the 400+ edible native species in Colombia). Most of the fruits I tried I’d never even heard of let alone tasted, but they were all incredible. As enjoyable as it was, I’m now slightly worried about shitting myself in the street later that day.

The tour group was small, which was nice. Three people from Seattle and two giant hunky Croatians, who were unfortunately gay. Story of my life. They ended up joining me on my next tour so I spent the rest of the day in a Croatian man sandwich. At least now I know where I’m going on my next holiday if that’s the calibre of men!

My Croatian bodyguards and I then joined a free tour of Comuna 13. This area used to be the most dangerous part of Medellin, but the area has been completely transformed and is now considered one of the safest. The tour was really interesting and the guide was very proud and passionate about her neighbourhood and how it’s changed over time. I can’t say I feel the same pride about Dundee! She tells us she has 20 siblings. Good lord it must be a right mess down there! 

That night I went to Carmen for dinner. I ordered the crab and prawn empanada starter and then fish with coconut risotto and curry sauce. Definitely the best food I’ve had in Colombia so far, and the most expensive. Saying that, I had a cocktail, two glasses of wine and two courses and it only cost me £30! 

Day 3: Guatapé

Today I did a full day tour to Guatape, which is a little town 2 hours by bus from Medellin. The first stop is La Piedra, which is a giant rock formation with 750 steps to the top. Good thing I love the stair master in the gym! Luckily we get up to the top and back down before the rain starts. I swear to god I’ve never seen so much rain as I have in the past week and I’m over it at this point! 

The rest of the tour suffers because of it. A boat trip around the reservoir in the pissing rain is hardly enjoyable, and our free time to enjoy the town of Guatape is mostly spent sheltering in a coffee shop. It goes from bad to worse on the journey home when shortly after setting off we hit a standstill. Turns out that due to all the rain, there’s been a landslide which is blocking the road. It takes an hour and a half to travel 5 miles. We arrive back to the city at 7pm, 3.5 hours later. 

I’m in the mood for a good hunk of meat. Since the Croatians are unavailable, I head to Bárbaro and order steak with corn purée before heading back to my hostel to pack my suitcase. Again. The worst part of travelling.

Not everything went to plan in Medellin, and I could’ve done with at least another day here. In hindsight I would’ve spent less time in Bogotá and more time here, but you live and learn. I’m excited to head north tomorrow, mostly because I know I’m finally going to get the sun I’ve been craving! At this rate I’m going to arrive home paler than when I left!

Salento

Day 1: Coffee Tour 

Swapping the city for the countryside, I arrive in Salento. It’s overcast and humid as hell. My hotel overlooks the valleys below and the views are pretty spectacular! Rain, hills, cows, I needn’t have left Scotland! 

I haven’t eaten yet so first stop is lunch at a place called Brunch where I eat a burrito the size of my head. I spend the next couple of hours wandering around the town and instantly fall in love with the place with its rows of colour houses, shops and restaurants. Salento is known for its coffee farms so it’s not surprising that the coffee here is gooood. 

After enjoying a deliciously strong coconut mojito at La Fonda de los Arrieros, I set off on a 5km walk to Osaco Coffee Farm for a coffee tour. The guide has us all in the bushes picking coffee beans. Workers earn less than 10 cents for every kilo picked. I think I’ll stick to banking! 

To get back to town I decide to ride a Willy. I’m saying nothing, my parents are reading this! Willies are jeeps that transport people around the town. They pack as many as physically possible into them, and that includes those hanging off the back. Health and safety is not really a concern in this country. 

 

For dinner I head to Rincón de Lucy. They offer a set menu with a choice of trout, pork or chicken which is served with soup, rice, lentils, beans, fried plantain and a jug of lemonade. It’s fairly bland but the whole thing costs 13,000 COP, which is about £2.50, so you can’t really complain. 

After dinner my plan is to have a drink or two then have an early night as I’ll be up early for my hike. I’m drawn to a mojito bar playing salsa music and as I walk past I hear screams and shouts of “come in”. So I do. As soon as I enter they ask where I’m from and I join the merry gang. This game continues throughout the evening until we’ve filled every table in the bar with Italians, Americans, Dutch, Germans, Polaks, Colombians. I spent most of the evening talking to a lovely Polish couple. We say “uno más” at least 5 times before calling it a night and agreeing to meet again the following night. 

Day 2: Valle del Cocora

I’m last to board the Willy in the morning which means I spend 25 minutes clinging onto the back for dear life and praying I don’t fall off at every turn. Part of the experience though I guess! 

The hike is a 6.4 mile loop of the valley. Rubber boots are essential due to the terrain. I figured that out the hard way when I lost a trainer to a giant pool of ankle deep mud. My foot slipped right out of the shoe, which was well and truly stuck. I finally managed to yank it out but fell backwards in the process ass first into the mud pit. And this barely 10 minutes into the hike. Fall number 1 of many that day! 

Not to worry though as those helpful Colombians have erected barbed wire banisters to give you something to cling onto. You effectively have two choices - you accept the fact that you’re going to fall face first into the mud or you grab onto the barbed wire to save yourself and slice your hands open. I did a bit of both throughout the day. 

The walk takes longer than expected due to the conditions, but the surroundings were beautiful. Much of the hike is in the jungle where you have to cross a series of wooden suspension bridges, each one more unstable than the last.  The final leg of the walk is where you find the Quindio wax palms which stretch up to 60 metres high. Disappointingly, visibility isn’t great when I arrive, but the cloud parts just enough for me to take some nice photos, not that they do the place any justice!

In the Willy back to town I get chatting to a  group of fellow travellers and we have lunch together at Donde Laurita. We order the bandeja paisa, a traditional Colombian dish of rice, beans, avocado, fried plantain, sausage, pork crackling and a fried egg. Suitably stuffed and knackered, I head back to my hotel and spend a good hour in the jacuzzi (after spending a good hour filling the damn thing). 

Day 3: Santa Rita Waterfall

I wake up to sunshine. Slightly annoying as it would have been a much better day for the hike and the views. But the weather here is so unpredictable it’s impossible to plan. 

As I hadn’t eaten dinner the night before, I start the day at Brunch with the biggest banana pancake I’ve ever seen in my life, which they’ve shaped into bear. It’s one of the most popular places in town and they’re famous for their massive portions. A good option for when you’re sick of rice, beans and plantain (which I am).

I set off on a hike to Cascada Santa Rita, a waterfall close to town. I chose to do the difficult route, a decision I’d live to regret later! It was a tough climb, and my legs were still sore from the walk yesterday. The ascent is never ending, and I don’t pass a single soul the whole way. Eventually, to my delight, the path starts to descend which is exactly when the thunderstorm starts. It’s torrential from this point onwards until I get back to my hotel…which is 4.5 miles away…

I have two choices to get back to town. I return via the same path I took this morning (which at this point is a river, not a path) or I stick to the road (with no pavements and crazy Colombian drivers). A toss up between certain death and a broken limb. I choose the later. The only thing getting me through at this point is the prospect of a beer in the hot tub!

I haven’t eaten lunch today so I’m starving! Dinner is at Cumana Bistro, a Venezuelan restaurant, where I order a chicken and avocado arepa and a salad before heading home for an early night. 

I’m sad to leave Salento and I could easily have spent longer here. It’s also been one of the easiest place to meet people, which has made for a really fun few days! Next stop, Medellin!

Bogotá

Bogotá

Day 1:

I arrived in Bogotá half cut (thanks to KLMs free bar) and bloody shattered (thanks to the annoying man in front with the loud video games). Being British, I chose to suffer in silence before finally asking him to turn the volume down, by which time I couldn’t get back to sleep. Being Scottish, I decided to spend the remaining 4 hours of the flight drinking gin and getting my moneys worth. 

After checking into my hotel in Chapinero, I hit the streets to check out some of the local sights. Most of the time all you can smell is deep fried buñuelos (cheese fritters) or empanadas, which I don’t have a problem with. What I do have a problem with now though is clogged arteries. 

Dinner is at Mini Mal, a local Colombian restaurant. I opted for plantain and crab balls cooked in coconut milk followed by pork ribs with a beer and tamarind sauce. It’s now 8pm and at this point I’m regretting my decision to book a bar tour on the first night because I haven’t slept in 24 hours and i’m dead. But I solider on like the alcoholic I am and power through until 2am.

I’m glad I did as it was great fun and I ended up meeting some really cool people from all over, including Texas, Denmark, India, Estonia, Guatemala, Puerto Rico, Ecuador and California, so a pretty diverse group. First was a beer stop where I found myself next to Kerly from Ecuador, Carol from Puerto Rico and Erick, a Guatemalan who lived in the states. Then it was a cocktail at El Mono Bandido. Any bar where there is a slide into a ball pit is a winner in my book. Finally we hit a club and danced until I physically couldn’t take any more. 

Day 2:

Sunday started with a coffee and a media luna (a mini croissant) at Bizcocheria Les Amis. From here the plan was to walk to a neighbourhood called Usaquen where there is a Sunday market. En route, I stumble upon a little park with an awesome band playing salsa music and a pen full of dogs for adoption. I would have happily spent the whole afternoon here! Resisting the temptation to adopt a puppy, I headed to the markets where I wander aimlessly through the stalls of overpriced tat before stopping for brunch. 

From there I took an Uber to Parque 93, another district. Uber is technically illegal in Colombia, although everyone uses them. But it does mean that you have to sit in the front seat and make awkward small talk with the driver. On this occasion it’s Jose, who thinks my name is Russian (lord knows why). I quickly tell him I want no association. He laughs and agrees not to throw me out of the car. The 15 minute ride costs me £1.50. It’s actually more expensive to buy a coffee here!

Speaking of coffee, I stop for my third of the day, and an empanada snack (rude not to) before heading back to my hotel for a much needed siesta! 

That evening I met up with Kerly and Erick for dinner and drinks at Cantina La 15, a Mexican restaurant with a live mariachi band. We were all still suffering from the night before so we called it a night pretty early. 

Day 3:

My last day in Bogotá got off to a bit of a disaster. It had rained quite heavily overnight and it was drizzly the whole day which made for very slippery pavements! En route to La Candelaria, the historic neighbourhood of Bogotá, I went arse over tit and spilt my coffee all over my top. Not only was this highly embarrassing, but I was too far from the hotel to go back and change so I spent the remainder of the day looking like a right tink! 

My plan for the morning was to climb Monserrate, a 10,000 feet mountain with views over the city. But I arrived to find most of the mountain cloaked in mist, which meant zero visibility, which was disappointing. Scrapping that plan I wander the streets, killing time before my afternoon food tour. I’m not a fan of the area and it’s not the quaint historic centre that I’m expecting. It also feels rather sketchy, there’s police on every corner. It’s not recommended to stay here at night and it’s easy to see why.

At 12 I feel it’s reasonable to start drinking, since I’m bored and it’s pissing with rain.  My food tour starts at 2 and I’m starving. It’s a free food tour, so at each location you pay for what you have and give a tip at the end. Makes sense in theory, but there were 20 of us so it meant for a lot of hanging around waiting on people paying! Not the best food tour I’ve experienced. I didn’t leave hungry though with stops including empanadas, arepas, grilled meats, obleas (sweet wafer sandwich), ajiaco (a chicken soup with potatoes and corn) and hot chocolate with cheese which is as weird as it sounds. You break off chunks of cheese and let it melt in your hot chocolate. I’m still not sure how I feel about it.

4 hours later (the tour is supposed to be 2.5) and I’m ready to lie down. My Uber home is a shed on wheels driven by a 12 year old boy who spends the entire journey texting. I’m surprised to make it home alive. 

Overall I enjoyed my time in Bogotá. Not the most aesthetically pleasing city and not somewhere I’d rush back. But I had some great experiences with some lovely people! Next stop, Salento.